The Other Side of the Pillow

I looked at her like she was crazy. Her eyes dropped to my stomach and I felt guilty. Not sure why but I did.

“Do you mind if I come in?”

There was no win-win answer to that question. If I said that I didn’t mind, I was going to have to hold a conversation with her that I had neither anticipated taking place nor wanted to have. If I said that I did mind, she would think that I was jealous of her and throwing shade. Part of me wanted to know what she wanted to say. The other part asked myself why would I give a damn what she wanted to say.

There was no reason for me to dislike her. She had never done anything to me and, as far as I knew, she had never done anything to Tevin either. Still, the mere thought that she was the woman that Tevin had once loved, and professed his love for like he was now doing with me, was unnerving. The fact that he had planted his seed in her numerous times was almost too much. Almost.

I moved aside. “Come in.”

“Thank you.”

Estella entered and walked into the living room as I shut the door.

I followed her and pointed to the sofa. “Please, have a seat.”

She sat and scanned the room. “Lovely house. I’ve never actually been here before.”

“Oh, I figured you had been.” I sat in the armchair. “He’s had this place for a while.”

“I’ve had the address, to forward his mail and all, but no, I’ve never actually been here. He purchased this house after our divorce was . . .”

“Final,” I said, finishing her sentence for her. “I don’t mean to sound rude, but why exactly are you here?”

“Tevin called me last week.”

“Oh?”

Yes, I’m jealous!

“It’s not what you might imagine,” she quickly stated, sensing that I was wondering what the fuck he’d called her for. “He called me to ask me for advice.”

Are you for real?

“He wanted my help in trying to convince you to marry him.”

I frowned. “Being that we’ve never met a day in our lives, what made him think that you could give him that type of advice?”

“I get what you’re saying, but I also understood where he was coming from. Tevin doesn’t have a lot of people to open up to. And let’s face it, if he were to discuss his true feelings with most men, they’d call him a pussy or weak, and tell him to man up.”

I nodded. She had a valid point. Men were taught to hide their emotions a lot and other men did tend to ridicule them for expressing themselves. It was part of the “man code” to act hard at all times, right along with never letting them see you cry, and if you are caught doing some shit you have no business doing, deny, deny, deny.

“Estella, I appreciate you coming over here, but I don’t feel comfortable discussing my relationship with Tevin with you. You’re his ex-wife and that means that, at some point, you were his world. I’m not trying to take your place but I don’t want you interjecting your opinions either.

“There’s no reason for us to get to know each other, hang out, or trade fairy tales. You’re in his past and, from what he told me, you’re engaged, maybe even married by now, and you’ve moved on. It would be different if the two of you had ki . . .”

Shit!

The expression on her face changed.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to—”

“Understood, Jemistry. I get your point. If we had children together, you and I would have no other option but to get along. And you’re right. I am his past and I have no intention of being in constant communication with Tevin, any more than he plans on doing that with me.

“We’ve only spoken twice in the past six months. Prior to that, I hadn’t spoken to him in years.”

“I see.”

“We don’t have to discuss your business. You can merely listen.”