He shook his head, his breath coming in pants as fear rode his very soul. ‘No, nothing can stop you when you set your mind to something. I know that now. I don’t deserve the time of day from you, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to let me take away the hurt that I’ve caused you.’ He crossed the room and ge
ntly took her hand. Turning her palm up, he dropped the key into it and curled her fingers closed.
Then he cast another glance into the dressing room, and almost broke down at her feet. With every fibre of his being, Rahim wanted to move her away from the scene where she was preparing to leave him. But he forced himself to stay rooted to the floor.
Her nostrils flared slightly before her mouth compressed. ‘Five minutes. Then I’m out the door.’
Rahim swallowed hard. ‘I’ve been running scared ever since my mother died. You know what happened to her.’
Sympathy shadowed her face before she nodded. ‘Complications during the birth of your brother?’
‘Yes, but what you probably don’t know is that the complications could’ve been avoided. She had me by emergency Caesarean section after a complicated labour which she barely survived. When she was diagnosed with placenta praevia for her second pregnancy, she was told the child would most likely have to be delivered by Caesarean section too. But somewhere along the line, she got it into her head that she could deliver naturally. Nothing her doctors said would sway her. She was fragile and naturally petite, with her head always in the clouds. As a child, she used to fascinate me. I couldn’t quite believe I came from this almost mythical creature, but I loved her all the same. And she loved me. Of course, my father’s intense love for her wasn’t a secret. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, including not standing in the way of the sometimes questionable decisions she would make. The first time I heard them row was over her decision about the baby. He begged her to have the Caesarean. She point-blank refused. He told her he wouldn’t be able to go on if something happened and he lost her.
‘I was hiding in this very dressing room when he said that to her. I remember dismissing the statement as utter nonsense. Loving a person shouldn’t involve a death pledge or disagreements that led to blazing rows. But with each refusal, my father promised her he wouldn’t live if she died. A month later, she went into labour. Her stubborn belief that she could do it naturally eventually put the child in distress. By the time the doctors took action, there was too much blood loss and she was too frail to survive the Caesarean. The baby died, and so did she.’
Allegra’s face twisted in agony for him. ‘Rahim, I’m so sorry,’ she whispered.
‘And just as he’d promised, my father stopped living. He just...turned everything off.’ Remembered bitterness pounded through him, the pain relentless as he lived it all over again. ‘Nothing I did or said made a difference, and believe me, I did everything I could imagine, savoury and unsavoury. Sadly, the unsavoury bits lingered long after I’d attempted to turn over a new leaf.’
‘Possibly because you enjoyed your wild side a little bit too much?’ She didn’t exactly tease as she said it, and Rahim wondered if that would be yet another mark against him.
‘I was desperate. I’d gone from a pampered and loved child to losing two parents in one day, even though only one of them died.’
‘But you were lucky—you knew love for a while before it was taken away. No matter how devastating that was, you still have good memories to hang on to.’ She looked away, her eyes darkening with her own pain. Pain that lashed at Rahim. She turned and headed back into the dressing room. Rahim followed, resisting the urge to shut and bolt that door too. ‘Mine died as they lived, in a fiery blaze of glory,’ she continued. ‘With barely a thought for their seven children. Had it not been for my grandfather none of us would be where we are today.’
‘That’s why you risked everything for him.’
‘I love him. I would do anything for him.’
‘Even marry a man you barely know so your grandfather could keep his treasured box?’
She stiffened for a second, then bent to pick up a discarded garment. Disconsolately, she tossed it into a suitcase. ‘Why are you doing this, Rahim? You don’t want to be married to me. I got the message loud and clear today. So let’s just save ourselves this unnecessary post-mortem. I’ve no more of my heart to pour out.’
She bent down to pick up another bunch of clothes. Rahim lunged for them, wrestled them from her. ‘And I haven’t poured my heart out enough. So let’s redress the balance.’
Allegra froze, her stunning blue eyes searching his for a frantic second before she shook her head. ‘You know what love is, Rahim. You feel it for this baby. I know you do. So please believe me when I say I won’t stop my child from experiencing that love. And I won’t publicise any separation until he’s old enough...’
‘No!’ The word tore free from his chest, a lifetime of hopeless fear rising up to choke him, sending him to his knees. He wrapped his hands around her waist and pleaded for his life. ‘Please, ya galbi, no separation. No divorce. I’ll do whatever it takes. I was a coward, too afraid to admit what I felt for you until now. I don’t want to say “until it was too late,” because I don’t want it to be. I would reverse time itself if I could to redress all the wrong turns I’ve taken. Please let us not be one of them. Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it. Please, Allegra. I love you. Don’t leave me.’
She gasped, her eyes flaring wide as she stared down at him. ‘You love me,’ she muttered obliquely.
‘I love you,’ he affirmed. ‘I feared that love would make me weak as it did my father. When you bled on our wedding night, I nearly lost my mind with the terror of imagining losing you. I mistakenly thought being without you was better than falling deeper in love with you to the point where I wouldn’t be able to function. But I recognise the difference between what my parents had and what I feel for you. Being with you empowers me to be better, to do better for my people. And I don’t love you any less by staying away from you.’
‘Oh, Rahim.’
‘So given the choice between shutting myself off in some godforsaken remote location in my kingdom or seeing you every day, watching our son grow in your belly...habibi, the choice is very simple. I want to love you, up close and as personal as you’ll allow me.’
‘I want it very personal, Rahim. As personal as you showed me it could be on our wedding night. I want that every day and every night.’ Her eyes filled with tears until they spilled from her glorious lashes onto his face. Laughing, she brushed them away, then lowered her mouth to his. ‘Promise me that, and you’ll have my love forever.’
Rahim’s heart raced, his soul baring itself to the fierce love shining from her eyes. ‘I promise. You honour me with your love.’
‘And my body and soul.’
‘And I honour you with mine, my Allegra. Forever.’
They kissed, reverently, then hungrily, before she pulled away. Slowly she opened her hand. ‘I think we should use this now.’
‘Is there somewhere special you’d like me to take you?’