There’d been a price to pay for the kiss of desperation they’d exchanged. Only now was she beginning to understand the far-reaching ramifications of her actions.
By now moisture dripped off her chin. “L-last night I thought you came to-to—”
“I know what you thought,” he cut in. “You had every right to assume what you did.”
She buried her face in her hands. “I’m a horrible person. I threw temptation in the face of a man who’d pledged himself to a life of celibacy. I can’t bear it that I’m the reason you gave up your vocation.
“You’re such a wonderful priest. When I think about all the good you’ve done, your kindness and understanding in handling Brenda who’d wanted to get an abortion. Because of your guidance and advice, she gave her baby up for adoption. I’m so ashamed of my actions. To think my reckless behavior has led you to this—” She swung her head around.
“You can’t do it, Jarod! You have to go back and tell them you made a mistake. I’m sure hundreds of other celibate priests have had to overcome periods of temptation. It’s only human and normal. Your superiors will understand and be happy you’ve come to your senses in ti—”
“You don’t understand, Sydney,” he cut her off. “I have come to my senses. I’ll always love the Church, but I’m a man in love who wants to be your husband.
“As I told you last evening, I came as soon as I could. Nothing’s changed between us except that our feelings have grown stronger. After last night, I have living proof.” His voice grated.
Before she could take a
step away from him, he slid his hands to her shoulders. “I brought you here to ask you to marry me.”
CHAPTER THREE
“MARRY—”
“Yes. We can exchange vows in this little church by the pastor who officiates here. I’ve already talked to him.”
“Wait—” She put her hands in front of her the way she would do to shield herself from a gale-force wind.
His eyes burst into twin green flames. “I don’t want to wait. We’ve lost time we can never recover. I want to live the rest of my life with you. I want us to have children.”
She shook her head and jerked out of his grasp. “You don’t know what you’re saying!” Her panic increased. “Please hear me out. The only reason I agreed to meet you after work was so that I could try and make up for my selfishness.”
“Sydney—”
His compassion for her pain shook her. “Please, Jarod—let me finish—”
A grimace marred his features. “Go on.”
“Like I once told you, I don’t espouse any particular religion, but I honor anyone who does, especially you—a man who’s made sacrifices to commit your whole life to God.
“Before you came to pick me up, I’d made up my mind to ask your forgiveness for my past actions. E-especially the latest one.”
One dark brow dipped in query. “Latest one?”
“Yes.” With the words tripping off her tongue, she told him about her unsuccessful trip to Cannon, with the shattering result that she’d learned he was ill. “I was so afraid it was serious.”
“It is serious,” he came back intensely. “I’m a man in love.”
“Don’t keep saying that. In light of the difficulties you face every day in your desire to be a priest, I’m deeply ashamed of what I did.
“The only reason our professional association turned into something more was because I wasn’t noble or courageous enough to stay away from you.”
“Don’t torture yourself, Sydney. If you’d tried to avoid me, I would have found ways for us to be together.”
“That doesn’t matter now. You have to go back to Cannon for yourself, and for me. This time you can fulfill your duties free of any emotional baggage or entanglement where I’m concerned.”
“It’s too late,” he whispered.
“Of course it isn’t!” she protested in absolute fear. “You’re not thinking rationally right now. Jarod—I don’t want to be your stumbling block in life. I couldn’t live with myself.