“But not the Church!” Rick’s voice rang out.
“No. Never that.”
Rick let out a pained sigh. “You’re so certain she still feels the same way?”
“Deep down I believe she does, yes.”
“What if she’s changed?”
“That’s a risk I have to take.”
“Have you considered she might turn you down?”
“It’s a real possibility. But no matter her circumstances, I have to go to her unencumbered if I expect her to listen to me.”
“And if she doesn’t, you’ll have given up all you achieved in the hope that she still loves you.”
“Yes.”
By this time Rick was on his feet. He stared hard at Jarod. “Did you sleep with her?”
“No. We held each other for a brief moment when she told me she was leaving, but we didn’t do anything but ache for each other.”
A bewildered look crossed over his face. “Then—”
“It doesn’t matter, Rick. There was this feeling between us that transcends my ability to put into words. Fifteen months are gone. I’m going to be thirty-eight on my next birthday. Every minute that passes is taking something away from us we can’t get back.”
“You won’t be able to marry in the Church.”
“I know.”
“Is she devout?”
“She’s not Catholic.”
“What?”
“She was baptized in the Lutheran church, but hasn’t attended any church in years.”
“Forgive me, Father, but in your case that might help.”
A strange sound escaped Jarod’s throat. “I’m not a priest anymore, Rick.”
“You are to me.”
“Besides the Bishop at the diocese, you’ve been my closest friend. So I’m going to remind you there’s no magic solution here. It would require turning back the clock and arranging for Sydney to teach at a school anywhere in North Dakota but Cannon so we wouldn’t have met.”
“Kay’s going to take this hard. She thinks of you as the perfect priest.”
Jarod frowned. “That’s the trouble with perfection. There is no such thing.”
“In her heart she’ll be rooting for you, Jarod.”
“I know that. To help her out, I’ll be gone long before she wakes up in the morning. It’ll make it easier for everyone. Father Lane will stay here for the interim to oversee the affairs of the parish. He’ll tell everyone I’ve gone on retreat. By the time the new priest is announced, it’ll be a smooth transition.”
“How will you live?”
Rick’s question jerked Jarod out of his reverie.