“Then why did you refuse to be adopted when it would have given you security?”
Their gazes fused. “Dr. Neri told me my early sense of loss had made it close to impossible for me to trust people. He felt I’d been traumatized to a greater degree than some of the other orphans. I couldn’t respond normally to the hand that reached out to me.
“All I wanted was my parents. No one else would do. I grew up and slowly learned to care for Angelo and Enzo, but I never outgrew the need for my birth parents. My loss made me more cautious, even fearful of strangers, and caused me to avoid touching them or accepting affection.
“Though Angelo and Enzo became steady elements in time, he said I’d suffered too much damage early. Thus finding my parents and roots became the paramount driving force of my life. He said I was an unusual case.”
She fought the tears stinging her eyelids. “What if you can’t ever find them? What if—”
“They’re dead?” he finished the question for her and stood up, putting his hands on his hips. “Dr. Neri warned me about that too.”
“What did he say?”
“He suggested that I go in for psychiatric counseling to accept that I might not find answers and enjoy the life ahead of me.”
Fausta couldn’t agree more. “Did you get help?”
“No. Once I started my next rotation as a general practitioner, I didn’t have time. As soon as I graduated, I left for Domodossola to interview for my job at the hospital. I’ve been inundated with work ever since. But I’ll be honest. I readily accepted the position at the hospital because I’d hoped to find my parents here in your country.”
His eyes traveled over her. “Instead something else happened. What I never expected was to meet you, the daughter of the king and queen of Domodossola no less. Any more time spent with you puts you in double jeopardy.”
Her chin lifted. “And if I were a commoner?”
“But you’re not one, Fausta. Whatever happens, I’m on a journey that has to be taken alone. The day could come soon when I’ll have to leave Domodossola on a moment’s notice. Depending on the circumstances, I might never be back. For this reason, there’s no way I can promise you where my life is going, and that’s not fair to you when your life is here. You’re a princess of the realm.”
“If you only knew how I wish I weren’t!”
“Listen to me, Fausta. Meeting you has been the most wonderful thing to happen to me in my life. But I’ve been filled with guilt that I haven’t been totally honest with you about my unknown future. You deserve so much more.”
“I don’t deserve anything! All I want is to be with you. Can’t you accept that?”
He rubbed his chest absently. “I want to be with you too, but I’m worried about us getting any more involved. If we stop seeing each other now, there’s no harm done.”
Suffocating with pain at this point, she shot to her feet. No harm done? When I’m madly in love with you? Fausta’s heart cried.
Every word had driven the knife a little deeper. Ice had to flow through his veins for Nico to say something like that to her. She would never have thought it possible.
“Are you telling me you can walk away from your patients too? And what about Felipe’s wedding? He thinks you’re going to be his best man. I thought you’d made a commitment to Enzo and Pippa to take care of them.”
His features hardened. “I plan to follow through with everything for as long as I’m still here.”
While Fausta was capable of functioning, she opened her purse, unable to handle what he’d just told her. Pulling out her cell, she started to call her limo driver, but Nico took it from her and hung up. The touch of his hand sent waves of desire through her. He’d read her mind.
“I picked you up and I’m driving you home.” His fierce tone stopped her from arguing.
“Then I’d like to leave now.”
Fausta reached for her purse and walked out the apartment door first. In exquisite pain, she struggled not to break down as they headed for the parking area at the side of the building.
He helped her in the car. After shutting the door, he got behind the wheel and they took off for the palace at the north end of the city. “I should never have reached out to you. Nobody had to tell me I was playing with fire. I don’t dare touch you again and you know why.”
“You don’t owe me any explanation. Once again, I’ve made a mistake over a man. I don’t believe your reason for breaking up with me, Nico, but that’s your affair. You and I have both been fools to spend time together.”
The tension between them was palpable. So was the silence.
When they reached the palace, she brushed some hair out of her face. “Just so you know, I intend to carry out my idea to have computers installed at the orphanage. You won’t have to do deal with any of it.”
“Fausta—”