“Did you now?”
I nodded. “You’re looking for a wife so you can get your hands on your inheritance. What will all the eligible ladies think when they learn that you’re still the same old scoundrel you’ve always been? They’ll run away from you like you’ve got the plague. Pay up, Charlie, or else you’ll force this little cat burglar to let her secrets out of the bag.”
He lowered his head and suddenly his lips hovered dangerously close to mine, in kissing range, but he didn’t press forward and I swallowed hard, forcing myself not to either.
“Here you are, luv, in a dark house, calling me a scoundrel, yet you don’t seem the least bit scared about what I might possibly do to you.” He ran the tip of the sword gently down my cleavage, driving me secretly mad with its cool touch. “I think I could fall madly in bed with you.”
“I’m not that easy.”
His hand slipped over my ass. “Which is easier, you squeezing that ass into those jeans or me getting it out of them?”
“You’ve always been a dreamer. Just pay me what you owe me, and I’ll be on my merry way.”
His lips pressed into a grim line. “I don’t have the money. I’m afraid it’s all, uh...tied up right now, which is exactly what I should do to you for breaking into my home like this.”
“Please, Charlie. Look at this big, beautiful mansion. Don’t even try to play the poor card on me. I’m the poor one here, barely making ends meet, and there’s no work in this little town. My temp job ends in a month, and I’ve got no idea how I’m going to pay my rent.”
“I’m just a pauper in a palace for now,” he admitted a bit sheepishly. “The money’s not officially mine until I secure my inheritance.”
“So that really is why you came back to town? To swindle some unlucky girl into marrying you just so you can bulk up your bank account? I imagine chicks are as scarce here as jobs. Why didn’t you just pick up some bimbo in Vegas, go through one of those drive-thru Elvis chapels to tie the knot?”
“Well, it stipulates that I do have to marry someone from this town,” he said.
“What? Seriously?” I said, startled since I hadn’t read that part before I scrambled to put the Will away. “Why?”
“Dad always wanted me to settle down here. He didn’t like the thought of me ‘gallivanting all over the damn place,’ as he put it. I guess he had the last laugh on me.”
“Do you want to settle down here?”
“What do you think?”
“I’m guessing no.”
“Then your guess is right. My plan is to sweep into town, pick up a fake bride, get my inheritance, and leave like the wind after a quickie divorce in Caribbean paradise, untying the knot fast enough to cause whiplash.”
“Nice plan. I know I wouldn’t be duped by some charming Casanova, no matter how much he promises to pleasure me with his hotter-than-hot-package. Getting intimate, then signing papers over Piña Coladas and saying adios isn’t quite my style. Actually, I don’t think it’s anyone’s style here in Blue Ridge. You might fare better in California or New York City.”
“Those states won’t work. I only have to marry someone here, though, then live here for two years to fulfill the terms of the Will. After that, I’ll have my get-out-of-marriage-hell-free card, and I’ll be the one to be on my merry way...er unmarried way, I suppose.”
“Yeah? And what woman is gonna bite on that? No girl wants to hear, ‘Till divorce do us part in two years.’”
“I’ll lure her in, then confess all my dark sins before I marry her. Maybe you’ve forgotten how charming, persuasive, and convincing I can be.”
“Don’t you mean manipulative and sneaky? Maybe dishonest and selfish?”
“Dishonest? I don’t plan to trick anyone, if that’s what you’re thinking. I was willing to bear my soul and lay out all my cards.”
“Anyway, you’ve got no money for me? Not even a small installment toward your loan? I’m living a little feast-or-ramen right now,” I complained.
“I’m broke, too.”
“Take it up with my ass because she’s the only one who gives a shit.”
“Listen, if you hang in there, I promise I’ll give you a huge deposit.” He winked.
I pushed him away. “Huge deposit. I don’t want sex. I want money. What the hell good are you?”
“Listen, I’ll pay you in full, with interest, once I cash in on that inheritance.”