The extra weight in front was beginning to add twinges and aches to her slender frame. Shifting position, with a soft little grunt, to stuff a pillow behind her back for more support, Camellia nodded.
“Yes, he’s hoping to get away soon, before bad weather hits. In fact, he’s asked Reese to go along, to get a feel for the place. Reese doesn’t seem to mind at all being a—shopkeeper...” Her eyes glimmered with mirth at the term. Once upon a time, she herself had been horrified at the idea of marrying one of the same. As if tradesmen were some sort of alien species. “Would you like to come stay with me, while he’s gone?”
“If you don’t think I’d be in the way...”
“Don’t be silly. I would love to have you here. In fact, I’ll invite Letty, as well. And Molly, if she wouldn’t mind leaving her husband for a night or two. We can stay up late, and pop corn and make taffy, just like in the old days in St. Louis.”
Hannah tilted her head slightly sideways, studying her sister. “Cam, do you like being married?” she finally asked, quite seriously.
“Oh, yes, indeed, I like it very much. As long as it’s to Ben. The idea of being married to anyone else just gives me the shivers,” she said frankly. “We began with a bit of a rough patch, as you recall—the period of adjustment that most newlyweds go through, I think. But—since then...” Camellia closed her eyes, raised her face to the light as if it were sunshine itself, and sighed.
A swallow, and a pensive look. “Good?”
“Better than good. I never imagined that I could love anyone so much. It just—it takes my breath away every time he walks into the room. And, since we’ve gotten past some minor problems as far as the physical side is concerned—well...sometimes, Hen,” the timbre of her voice lowered, even though there was no one else around to hear, “sometimes I even scooch across to Ben’s side of the bed, to reach for him first!”
Color washed up to tint the cool pallor of Hannah’s clear complexion. “Oh.”
“There, now I’ve embarrassed you. I’m so sorry, my dear. Living with a man has made me less ladylike and more—um—well...earthy.”
“That’s all right,” mumbled Hannah. “I’ve been told I’m far too strait-laced anyway. Perhaps I ought to loosen up a bit, myself.”
Camellia’s glance, over the rim of her tea cup, was sympathetic. “If it’s necessary, that will come in time. But don’t change too much, dear Hannah. We love you as you are.”
“I want to get married too. I want that special person in my life. I’m tired of being all by myself.”
“When the time is right, it’ll happen.”
Silence reigned for a few minutes, interrupted only by an occasional swoop of wind and rain at the windows, the quiet ticking of the mantel clock, a clink of teacup against saucer, the infrequent plop of a water drop oozing from the kitchen faucet. Judging by the expression on Hannah’s susceptible face, she was working through some knotty problem of her own. Camellia left her to it.
“Your mail order marriage seems to have been a great success,” she finally ventured.
“Indeed. I certainly think so, at any rate. And I believe Ben would agree.”
“And, going by appearances, so have both Molly’s and Letitia’s.”
“Well, it’s early days yet, of course, for any of us. But they give every indication of being happy in this place, with their new husbands. Wouldn’t you say?”
Hannah shrugged. “I suppose. Perhaps I ought to try taking that route, myself.”
“Oh.” Surprised, Camellia leaned forward. “But I assumed you were getting along quite well on your own, enjoying your independence, and having—no, never mind. I see that isn’t exactly true.” She frowned, displeased by the fact that she had so unintentionally misconstrued her sister’s frame of mind these past few months.
“I am. I have. But I do feel—lonely, sometimes. I would like to be half of a couple, as you all are. I would like not to be a separate person, a—a hanger-on. I would like not to be so—alone...”
She thought about Gabe’s words: “Playing it safe. That will get you nowhere in life. Take a chance.”
Maybe that’s what she needed to do.
“Hen.” Great sorrow encompassed Camellia’s generous heart. “Hearing this just tears me to pieces, that you could be contending with so much and keep it locked up inside. And you really think that looking over advertisements in the newspaper will be a step forward for you?”
“It worked for every one of you, didn’t it? What do I have to lose?”
“Well—your family, for one thing. What if you find someone this way, and he wants you to move a thousand miles from here, and we’d risk never seeing you again?”
Sipping from her tea cup as if to absorb renewed vigor for the fray, Hannah shook her head. “No, I wouldn’t let that happen. I’m here, Cam, and here I stay.” She gave a ghost of a smile.
Camellia sighed. “Far be it from me to dissuade you, since you have all these examples. But I do hope you will think about this for a while, and consider your options carefully. Will you do that?”
“Of course.” The smile widened. “Don’t I always obey the advice of my elder sister?”