“I do. I wasn’t with Marj. I was with Greg.”
“Greg,” he said flatly.
“I met him—gosh this is hard!” she sniffed, refusing to let herself cry. “I met him on Tinder.”
“Wow. Are you fucking kidding me? I’m all about getting home to you and you’re cruising Tinder for some ass. I gotta say, Britt, I did not see this coming. Not from you. Not after the way we met.”
She chewed on her lip. She could practically see him running his hands through his hair, his head bowed low.
“It’s not like that. I was playing on Marj’s phone, swiping guys on her Tinder profile. Then I set her up a date with this guy. We were laughing about it and then she told me it was MY profile. She’d posted pictures of me and set me up an account. I was so mad. I messaged the guy and told him we couldn’t meet and then she showed up with him at the coffee shop.
“So you had to blow him off.”
“That was yesterday.”
“And you were with him again today,” he said, his voice colder.
“Yes. I agreed to help him polish his Tinder profile because he wasn’t getting the results he wanted. And then when I got there he hugged me and I just couldn’t. I felt like I wasn’t being...faithful. That was when I knew that you were the only one I want. This is a good thing. It’s a stupid ass way to get there, but it’s a good thing.”
“Okay,” he said with a nearly audible shrug.
“Okay? Like you’re not mad anymore?”
“I’m not thrilled but you explained it. I believe you.”
“I’m getting on Tinder to get rid of my profile. I deleted Greg’s number. I’m in a fight with Marj because she kept setting me up with guys. It’s only partly her fault. I didn’t tell her about you and if I had, she would never have tried to fix me up with anyone. But I’ve never been in a fight with her, not really. I’m –this is what I’m willing to do to be with you. Fight with my best friend. Dump and delete guys in coffee shops. Walk out of an Italian restaurant that doesn’t have organic water.” She said, talking as fast as she could, hoping he didn’t hang up.
“What Italian restaurant?”
“The one down from Tamarind. I went there with...someone Marj and I met at Silver Rain.”
“Shit. You’ve been dating. You’ve been picking up guys and making dates and pretending like everything’s fine with us.”
“It is fine. It wasn’t for a while but now it is. I’ve got my head together. I’m ready to do this, to be with you, really with you. The whole thing with Marj, I was just dying to talk to you about it. Not just anyone but with you specifically because I talk to you more and—realer, I guess, than anyone else. And I couldn’t because Marj couldn’t know about you and you couldn’t know about Marj’s quest to set me up. So my thing is, I want to be really up front with you and tell you everything from now on. Please,” she said, tears in her eyes. “Please.”
“Don’t say that to me,” he said, his voice less cold, thicker as if with emotion.
“Why not?”
“Because the only other time you’ve ever said please to me, we were in my bed. I can’t think of that right now, of how close we were or how close I thought we were.”
“Please, Jack,” she said. “I’ve told you the truth. Now you can tell me whatever you’ve been up to. No recriminations, I promise.”
“Is that what you think I want? General amnesty? I don’t want permission to cheat on you. I don’t want to be told to tell you the truth because I already have. I’ve been working. I think about you and talk to you and message you and it’s like my whole consciousness is so full of you that there’s no room to understand what you just told me. That in my—heart I’ve been with you this whole time and you’ve been with whoever, I don’t really give a shit who they were or how many there were. It matters that they exist, that there were guys you thought were a better shot for you or someone who was more available or somehow more of what you wanted.”
“That’s not it at all. I was trying to be...fake. I was so stuck on hiding us and the fact that I’m with you that I spent all this stupid time and energy trying to pretend I was single so energetically. It was such a waste of effort. You were right. I should’ve been honest from the start. I’m sorry. Please don’t quit me. Please.”
“I can’t stand it when you say please, you know that.”
“That’s why I’m saying it. I’m wicked that way,” she said, attempting a bit of levity. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll buy you a margarita and welcome you back in style. When do you get in?”
“I’ll call you. It may be late.”
“I don’t care if it’s late or early. I just care that I get to see you,” she said.
“I’ll be seeing you.”
“Come straight here. Come to my apartment,” she said.