How?
I did as she asked but closed my eyes; part of me was scared to death. Two tiny tears squeezed past my fierce defenses, but I wiped them away before they reached my hair.
There was an icy sensation.
“I’m just spreading some gel on,” she said.
I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore it as the tech babbled on about her four dogs and two cats.
Marcus came in. “Sorry, I had to take that phone call.”
“You didn’t miss anything,” I said.
He came over and held my hand. “Good.”
The technician and Marcus talked for a bit while she glided a handheld device across my stomach, creating a little pressure, but it didn’t hurt.
“See the white or grey areas in the images?” she asked. “That shows bone and tissue, while dark areas show liquid, such as the amniotic fluid around the baby.”
“Oh,” I said.
Suddenly, I heard a swishy sound, blood flowing through the umbilical cord or placenta. I could hardly contain my excitement. “It sounds like a train going through a tunnel.”
“It sounds like wind blowing through the trees.”
I jumped when suddenly a faint heartbeat. “Is that the baby?”
The technician nodded with enthusiasm.
My eyes widened in awe. “It’s faster than mine.” When I closed my eyes and focused, I could hear the heartbeat grow stronger. It sounded like a herd of horses galloping in water. I smiled widely as I met his gaze. My eyes welled with tears at Marcus’s emotion; I could tell he was just as touched as I was. It was like we had this special bonding moment. We had created a human life. We could hear its heartbeat. It was beyond amazing.
“I love you so much,” I said.
He cupped my cheek. “I love you too.”
“I can’t do this without you,” I whispered. “I just can’t.”
“What makes you think you will ever have to?” He kissed me on the lips, and when I tried to speak, he held a finger to my mouth. “Before I met you, I thought I had everything I would ever need to make me happy. Then you walked into my life and changed everything.”
“I should’ve bought you a coffee that first day I met you.”
He grinned. “You were so stubborn, strong, and independent, and I loved the way you stood up to me. I knew right then, in that very moment, that there was something special about you, and it was in that instant that I realized how empty my life was without somebody like you in it.” He gazed longingly into my eyes. “Don’t you see? You brought my dead heart back to life. I love you, and I will never let you go.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “You’re giving me goose bumps.”
We both watched the technician as she glided the device over my stomach and fussed with the computer.
“Ah, here we go,” the technician said suddenly. I turned my head. “You’re about six weeks along. You see that little flicker? That’s the heartbeat.”
I stared blankly at the screen, trying to understand how something so small had upturned my entire life so completely in just twenty-four hours. It was exciting but scary.
“Do you see your baby?” she pressed again, leaning toward me excitedly.
“Yeah, I can see the baby.”
“She’s small,” Marcus said. “Or he.”
“Is that normal?” I asked.