He took a drink of his beer before he dragged his fork through his salad.
I’d ordered a salad too because I wasn’t very hungry. “How long has Daisy been a professional poker player?” Sometimes I didn’t know how to talk to people unless it was work-related. It was easier having a shared passion to discuss. But just two people in a bar, it was rough. I had some friends I’d met living in Manhattan, but I still struggled with that sometimes. I never went on dates because that was just torture, no matter how hot the woman was. We had nothing in common, and trying to be relatable to someone with no shared interests was like pulling teeth. One-night stands, that was it for me.
“It started when she was in residency. Needed money for living expenses and wouldn’t accept help from me. It was easy money for her, so she continued to do it. She also enjoys the rush and the intensity of the situation, so it’s addictive for her.”
“Like an adrenaline junkie?”
“A bit. But I know she also enjoys the thrill of handing those men their asses too.”
“I can see that.” I’d experienced it firsthand. “Pretty amazing, the way she can sit there with a cigar in her mouth, a drink in her hand, count cards, and act like she’s barely paying attention.”
His eyes narrowed. “Cigar in her mouth?”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. “Sorry, I meant toothpick.”
He stirred his fork around his salad with his eyes down. “So, tell me about yourself. Are you married? Have children?”
It was a weird question, but I just went with it. “Divorced. No kids.”
He nodded. “I was married once before. Have a son from that marriage. Do you have a girlfriend?”
“No.”
He took a few bites before he drank his beer.
“Why?”
He shook his head. “Just want to get to know you better.”
No one had ever tried to get to know me better—at least not professionally. Unless it was a woman making a move, but that didn’t happen often because it was inappropriate to be involved with a colleague or mentor. A part of me wondered if he just pitied me because of what I’d told him. Now I wished I hadn’t said anything.
“I have two boys. The younger one is about your age. He’s a heart surgeon.”
“Yeah, I know who Dex is,” I said with a chuckle. “And Derek is a rocket scientist. Really impressive.”
“You and Dex have a lot in common. How about you come over on Sunday, and I’ll introduce you? I think you guys would hit it off pretty well.”
Pain the size of a boulder dropped into my gut. “I appreciate the offer, but I have plans.”
Dr. Hamilton looked at me as if he didn’t believe me.
And he was right—because it was a lie.
“Well, if you change your mind, we’d love to have you.”
I should keep my mouth shut, but I couldn’t. “Look, I know what you’re doing, and you don’t need to.”
Dr. Hamilton stilled.
“I wish I hadn’t told you what happened. I don’t need you to feel bad for me. I’m fine, alright? Yes, it fucking sucks that my entire family was murdered on the goddamn L train because they were visiting me, but don’t do that. Don’t spend time with me because you think I have no one else.”
Dr. Hamilton maintained his position, one hand on his fork, his dark eyes glued to me.
The voices in the restaurant changed, like they’d all heard my outburst.
I instantly felt like an asshole, yelling at my boss when he was just trying to be nice to me. “I apologize, Dr. Hamilton. I shouldn’t have said that.”
His voice was gentle when it should be angry. “It’s okay. Really.”
I looked away, ashamed of my response.
“But to clarify, that isn’t the reason I invited you.”
I continued to keep my gaze elsewhere because that was bullshit.
“Atlas.”
My eyes shifted back to his, forced by his confidence.
“I’ve taken you under my wing since you started at my company. I wrote that letter of recommendation even though I didn’t want to. Not because I didn’t have a million testaments to your work and your character, but because I didn’t want to lose you as a full-time researcher. This was long before you told me what happened to your family.”
I gave a slight nod in agreement because he was right.
“The reason why I’ve taken you under my wing is because…you remind me of myself at your age. It’s not just your brilliance, which is greater than mine, but what you want to do with it. You want to help people—and most people don’t. For them, it’s about the zeroes on their paycheck. With you, it’s about the patients, about making this world a better place than when you got here.”
I didn’t know what to say, how to respond to all the nice things he’d just said about me.