Laughing, I stepped back. “It’s not a big deal, it’s kind of a consolation prize for being left behind by Gabriella. She put me on a candidate list, and Neil doesn’t feel right keeping me on as an assistant when we’ve slept together. So don’t get too excited.”
Holli’s expression fell at my evident disappointment. She held out her arms and hugged me. “Oh, Soph. That probably means Gabriella was going to give you the job, anyway. If she had stayed. And Neil is smart enough to see that.” Leave it to Holli to put a positive spin on what felt like a falsely gotten gain. In a last ditch effort to cheer me, she snapped her fingers and her jaw dropped. “We should have a party to celebrate!”
Holli lived for parties. She once bought hats and streamers to decorate for the couch’s birthday, just to have an excuse for cake. But we hadn’t had a get together in a while now, and with my entire life in upheaval, it would probably feel good to blow off a little steam with friends.
“Fine,” I conceded. “But hold off until next Friday, at least. And don’t invite a bunch of people from Porteras.”
“Fine. Non-work friends only.” She frowned. “God, you don’t seem happy about this promotion like, at all.”
She’d caught me. I sighed guiltily. “I just feel like maybe Neil gave me the job because... you know.”
Holli knew better than to try and push that off with platitudes. She was an optimist, but not to the point that she believed she could bend reality with her positivity. “Well, you’ll have to just work extra hard to prove yourself. But just to yourself; you don’t have to prove anything to Neil. Remember, no one else knows you’ve slept with him. As far as everyone in your office is concerned, you’re just getting promoted, without all that other stuff attached.
“You know you can do this job, Sophie.” She gripped my shoulders and gave a firm squeeze. “You know you’re right for this, no matter what someone else might think about how you got the job.”
It’s ridiculous how easily a hug from your best friend can make your self-doubt vanish.
* * * *
It being Friday night, Holli had a party to go to. She invited me, but I declined.
“Abstaining in favor of staying home with your new toys?” she correctly observed as she put on her earrings in the mirror by the front door.
Sometimes, I’m utterly blown away by Holli’s beauty. It’s a very bizarre thing, to live with a model. She looks like a normal person ninety percent of the time, but when she gets dressed up to go out, it’s like the pages of a magazine come to life in the living room. She was rocking a short, sequined, navy tube dress with a low scooping back and long sleeves. Pointed black pumps with tons of toe cleavage and a five-inch heel added to her already willowy height.
“You look amazing,” I said, with the same earnest appreciation I’d had for Cinderella’s looks when I was four.
“Thanks!” Holli smiled at her reflection and turned, making finger guns at me. “You sure I can’t tempt you?”
I shook my head. “I have new sex toys and dirty books. There’s nowhere else I want to be tonight.”
That was a lie, I reflected as she locked the door behind her. I’d rather be underneath Neil in his big bed at the W.
I retrieved the package of sex toys and took it with me to my bedroom. I took out each of the items one by one, smiling with slight embarrassment. I’d never had a man buy me something so intimate before, and it made me all giggly and naughty feeling. And oddly touched. Vibrators disguised as makeup were really the perfect gift for when you’re casually fucking an assistant beauty editor. He’d put thought into this.
I took a battery from my nightstand and slid it into the lipstick. I turned it on and it buzzed to surprisingly strong life in my palm. There were two other vibes, a mascara wand with an obscenely bulbous tip, and the powder brush, as well as several “compacts” holding cooling, warming, and sensitizing gels.
Lunch with Neil had keyed me up enough that the vibrations from the subway had almost set me off during my evening commute. The books and his scandalous messages typed in them? Hadn’t helped. I stripped out of my clothes and dimmed my bedside lamp. In the low, golden glow, I lay propped against my pillows and pressed the vibe against my clit, sighing in relief at the direct stimulation.
The note typed in the e-reader came back to my mind. Neil had jerked off thinking about spanking me? The idea that we’d both been fantasizing about each other for six years was a heady one. Was he as addicted to me as I was to him? There hadn’t been a single time in six years that I’d masturbated without thinking about him. Even when I’d been fucking someone else, and yes, shamefully, even when it was someone I cared about, he would frequently slip into my mind at the crucial moment. More often than not, it had been his voice in my memories that tipped me over the precipice, and my deepest fear had been that I would shout his name as I climaxed.