“How’s your bum?” he asked as I slid in next to him. The sheets were crisp and clean and felt amazing on my naked skin.
I smiled and shook my head. “Bum? And it’s fine. I’ll definitely feel it tomorrow.” At his look of concern, I quickly added, “But that was the point, wasn’t it? I like to feel totally fucked? Especially since we don’t get together that often.”
“We could see each other more frequently, if you wanted to,” he suggested as I settled in at his side. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around my back.
I snuggled down, letting his body warm mine. “I thought we weren’t doing serious. Seeing each other a lot seems...”
“It doesn’t have to be serious.” He kissed the top of my head. “We see each other every day at work, after all.”
“Hey, about that?” I rolled onto my side, so I could look him in the eye. “Deja totally knows something is going on.”
His hand, previously stroking my upper arm, stilled. “What do you mean?”
“She mentioned it to me. She asked how long we’d worked together, and then she made some comment about the way you look at me.” I nibbled my lower lip. “She says you’re always looking at me.”
“I work with you. How can I do that without occasionally looking at you?” he asked, a note of defensiveness creeping into his voice. Then he sighed in resignation. “All right. I have noticed my eyes straying unnecessarily. I’ll work on that. And we’ll avoid further... contact in the office.”
The bed was ridiculously comfortable, and I felt myself sinking deeper into it with every heartbeat. “Where are we going to meet when you move out of this place?”
“It seems unfair that I’m forcing you to come to me, but you have your roommate...” He hesitated. “We could keep our tradition of doing nasty things in hotel rooms. Or are you averse to coming to my apartment?”
“No, I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable with that.” I shrugged. “And I can see why you wouldn’t want to come to my place. It’s kind of small.”
“Would you be uncomfortable if I were to come over?” he asked, resuming his slow stroking of my shoulder and back.
Good question. How would I deal with having Neil in my space, where I lived every day? That made things a little too personal, didn’t it? On the other hand... “Actually, it would be awesome to go to sleep right after sex, instead of getting in a cab.”
“You never have to leave. I would never throw you out.” His foot rubbed against my ankle beneath the blankets, and I couldn’t help my smile. “As casual as we may be about it, this is still a relationship. I don’t ever want you to feel used or objectified. I do care about you and your feelings, Sophie.”
A knot in my chest, one I had never noticed was there, eased at his words. Even though my rational mind thought better of Neil, some part of me that had never dealt with trust all that well had been doubting him, without my ever knowing it.
A physical shiver of relief went through me, and he hugged me closer, asking in concern, “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m great. I’m better than great.” I leaned up and kissed him, a playful peck to let him know everything really was okay, then reluctantly rolled away from him. “That was amazing.”
“That is just the tip of the iceberg,” he said with a grin.
I lay there, letting him play with my hair, on the verge of dozing. Something important pricked at my brain. It took me a moment to figure out what was bothering me. When I did, I had a hard time phrasing it. I started uncertainly, “Hey... when we’re together like this... you don’t have to always remind me of the safe word. I mean, I appreciate it, since I’m new at this. But I promise I’ll use it. I’m not stupid.”
His big palm rested against the small of my back, making slow, gentle circles with his fingertips. It stilled as he considered his answer. “I know you’re not stupid. It was never my intent to make you feel that way.”
“I know, you’re just trying to be careful, because of my freak out.” It was totally illogical, but I felt like I had done something wrong.
“No. Please don’t feel embarrassed about that. Perhaps I should tell you…” He took a deep breath, and I braced myself to hear something really bad. “I have tried being submissive before and, caught up in the heat of the moment, I forgot to safe word. My Dom didn’t realize I was no longer enjoying myself, and it turned out to be a very bad experience. I would never want to do that to you.”