Our helicopter would be waiting at Neil’s old office building, where his company still operated and, unfortunately, Valerie still worked. As we lurched through traffic like we were on the way to the hospital or something, I called El-Mudad.
"I've been trying to get you," he said without a hello. "Wasn't your phone on?"
"It was on do-not-disturb." The only calls that could get through on that mode were from Mariposa or Olivia's school; I didn't tell Neil or El-Mudad that, though. Sometimes, I just needed a break, and they would have to deal with not reaching me immediately. "Mariposa found me. I'm heading back right now."
"This is why you need an on-call nanny," he said wearily.
"Pff, back-up? Who needs back-up?" You do you stupid twat. That's why I was in such a panic. I had no idea what to do with things like school drop off or pick up or even… "Shit, I don't know where her school is!"
"I do," El-Mudad said calmly. "I'll drive you. It isn't as though you can pick her up in the helicopter."
"I can't? Does she go to a school that doesn't have a helipad?"
"Sophie, most schools do not have helipads," El-Mudad said, in a tone that very much implied that I was, if not the stupidest person alive, at least the most spoiled, which was rich, coming from him.
"May I remind you that you recently complained about your Lamborghini being too short for the drive-up window at Arby's?" I snapped. "Will we be able to get there on time? I don't want Olivia to think we abandoned her. She's going to be so freaked out."
"We'll be there on time. And if we're not, we can call the school, and they can let Olivia know that we're on our way. She won't be irreparably traumatized by waiting a few extra minutes." He sounded baffled. "Why are you so worried?"
"Because—" Because of Valerie and Laurence. "Ugh, they got into my head!"
"This isn't something to freak yourself out about," El-Mudad soothed me. "I promise you. This happens to everyone with a child in school—at least once. Calm down, and I'll see you when you arrive."
"Be waiting with the car running," I said, still jumping out of my skin. The only way the situation could throw me more was if I ran into Valerie at the office. Luckily, I could get buzzed up to the helipad without going to Elwood & Stern’s floor.
I managed to calm down on the flight to the house. As promised, El-Mudad waited beside what I was pretty sure was the Maserati he referred to as the "family car." We landed, and I disembarked, walking as fast as I could in my heels.
"We have plenty of time," El-Mudad scolded, hurrying to my side. "Mariposa already has a fucked-up hand. You can't have one, as well."
“No, what I can’t do is leave Olivia stranded at school.” I slowed my pace to match his. “I feel like such a total failure.”
El-Mudad rested his forearm against the top of the car, his door poised open. "Why? Who is judging you? I’m not. You have nothing to prove to Valerie and Laurence."
I got in and waited for him to slide into the driver's seat before I answered. Well, before I lied to him, anyway. "It’s not about them. It's just ridiculous that we pay someone to do what everyone in the world does already. What we're supposed to be doing."
"Everyone in Olivia's peer group has a nanny," he pointed out as he buckled his seatbelt. "It's not a moral failing. We spend plenty of time with Olivia, and it gets to be quality time because we're not burned out from driving to school and appointments and making dinner and supervising bath time."
"But those are the things parents are supposed to do," I argued. "We're supposed to be able to get all of that stuff done and raise these emotionally healthy little beings. That's a lot of pressure. It's one of the main reasons I never wanted to be a mom."
"Then don't be a mom." El-Mudad guided the car slowly to the main driveway before he picked up more speed. "You never worried about this before Valerie and Laurence suggested you weren't a good mother. Now, you want to prove them wrong by being the very best at something you were never interested in before."
"I'm interested in Olivia!"
"You're interested in Olivia. But not in being her mother. And you never have to be. That's not why Emma left you and Neil in charge. You don't know why they made that decision, but they wouldn't have if they hadn't thought it was for the best." He paused, frustrated, probably because he knew that whatever he had to say would never be louder than my destructive inner voice. "They thought that their daughter would get the best possible care from you and Neil because of who you are. Not despite."