“I had meetings, too, Ren. You’re not the only one with a job. This is important.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yes, you are,” Ann says icily, pinning me with a disapproving glare. “You made it barely in time.”
The sonographer walks in behind me, greeting everyone cheerily. If she feels the chill in the air, she does a good job of ignoring it as she explains the process, while prepping Sasha’s stomach. We’ve done this before, so nothing is new, but I hang on her words, so I can avoid looking at Sasha and Ann.
“Just to confirm, how many weeks are you?” she asks Sasha.
“Around twenty-three. We’ve been trying to determine the sex for the last six weeks.”
“Have there been any changes?”
Sasha goes on to explain what she told me on the phone about the baby moving the entire night and the feeling that she was carrying differently.
She starts with taking measurements, repeating what’s she seeing, explaining it all looks good.
My eyes are glued to the screen, watching her point out the visible body parts that are squirming.
Sasha and her mom actively participate in a conversation about everything on the screen.
When the sonographer moves the wand and presses on Sasha’s stomach, the baby turns.
My throat closes, and my heart drops to the floor.
Even without medical knowledge, I can tell.
It’s a boy. I’m having a son.
I should have listened closer to my mom and Bizzy. I should have believed them harder, trusted them more.
Because, they were right.
In this instant, everything changes.
Chapter 27
Bizzy
It’s happened. I should have been prepared, protected my heart a little more. It was only a matter of time.
My emotions are all over the place, blaming Sasha for being manipulative and calculating, blaming Shaw for tying my heart to his and leaving me to wonder.
But the truth is the blame is mine. I should have ran the second I discovered Sasha was having Shaw’s baby. Love be damned. I KNEW nothing good would come out of this. How could I ever compete with a baby?
You can’t! You stupid fool! You never stood a chance.
I curl onto my side and wrap my comforter around me, making sure my phone is within reach in case he calls… which I know he won’t. Today, he’s with Sasha and her family, showing them his condo then shopping for baby furniture for her nursery.
The day he walked away to get on that plane replays in my mind for the millionth time. I should have held tighter, begged him to stay. Done anything to keep him with me. Because he would have. Four weeks ago, he would have done anything for me, but I pushed him to go, encouraging him to get excited. I believed he’d come back to me.
He didn’t.
He missed my birthday.
He missed Thanksgiving.
He missed my department Christmas party.