She scrapes her finger out of my mouth and throws her arms around my shoulders. Her neck, arms, and back arch into me as I fight to hold steady. I continue to pump into her, pressing my head against her neck and hoping I don’t crush her when my elbow gives out.
We stay glued together for several minutes. Our chests beat out of rhythm until finally, they find it together, and I kiss a random pattern around her lips.
“You got yourself dirty again,” she whispers.
“On purpose. I want you on me all day.”
“That’s kinda hot.”
“I love you,” I declare with each peck on her lips.
She nods against my face, and I feel the tension starts to creep back between us.
“Tell me what you’re keeping from me.”
She runs her nails lightly down my jaw, scraping the light facial hair she loves. “Get through today, and I promise to tell you. But I want you to know, I love you, too. With all my heart.”
“That’s all I can ask for.”
I lay my head on her chest to feel her racing heart. Her loving me is all that should matter, but I need more. So much more.
I shift to the side and situate her close. “I wish you would reconsider. Come with me today.”
“I can’t, Shaw. This isn’t my battle. She’s likely to go crazy, and I want this to be between the two of you.”
“She may flip out, but it doesn’t change anything. It’s time she knows.”
“Why have you waited so long to tell her about us?”
Bizzy’s question floods me with guilt; she obviously thinks I’ve been hiding her.
I roll to my side and lift her chin. Her innocence in this kills me.
“Because I’m an idiot. It was purely for protection, but that was stupid. After today, she’ll know. I’ve never wanted to hide you, but all this shit got in the way.”
“I understand.” Her eyes find mine, full of sympathy.
“Tonight, we will discuss what’s on your mind, what you’ve been hiding.”
She burrows in my chest and nods. There’s a rumble that comes out something like, “MDN.”
“Did you say MDN?”
She nods again.
“With my brothers?”
Another nod.
“What the fuck?” I scoot back and down at the same time, seeing her face pale.
“I need to tell you all together. It’s about my work, and I’m going to need support.”
My mind goes into overdrive, pissed that she wants a group, but excited she trusts my family. Then my mind jumps to the conclusion she is leaving the Pediatric Oncology Group.
Fucking finally.
I try to hide my excitement by kissing her deeply and easing out of the bed, only breaking away when I have to step back. She covers herself with the rumpled sheet, watching me disappear into the closet.