“Another poor decision on my part. I wanted to talk to you last night, and when I heard you crying over what Logan said, my protective instincts kicked in. He was out of line, and I figured you needed some support.”
“So you got into bed with me?”
“Habit.” I shrug, trying to drive my point home. “It won’t happen again unless you want it, but I figure you’re not really a casual sex kinda girl.”
“I thought you loved me. How can you be this cruel?”
“I do love you, Grace, but I think I was caught up in the idea of it all. The girlfriend, moving you in, declaring my love… it seemed like the thing to do. But I can’t continue stringing you along under false pretenses. It’s not fair. This is me loving you.”
Her body jolts, her face crumbling. My blood starts to boil with hatred of myself.
“Lies, it’s all been lies. None of this was real?”
“I have feelings for you, Grace. That’s not a lie. You’ll always be my Sweet Peach. Like I said, let’s step back and give it time.”
“Okay, Nick. If that’s what you want,” she finally relents.
I have to get out of here before I collapse at her feet. This is by far the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and the worst thing about it is she believes me. There was a small part of me that hoped she’d laugh in my face and call me on my shit. But the way she’s focused on me tells me I’ve accomplished my goal. The only upside is that she looks as crushed as I feel.
God, please let her forgive me.
I knock my hand on the counter a few times, trying to act casual about my mood. “I’d better get going. I’ll call you later.”
“You have MDN tonight,” she reminds me.
Fucking monthly dinner night. The same dinner I insisted Grace attend. Bizzy is going to kill me. I deserve it.
“I’ll touch base then tomorrow. See how you’re feeling.”
“Okay.”
With nothing left to say, I go to her room and dress, the entire time eyeing her bed. She hasn’t moved when I get back to the kitchen, still staring into space.
“Sweet Peach?”
Her eyes fly to mine at the use of her nickname.
“I’ll call tomorrow. Let’s do lunch or something. Taking things slow doesn’t mean we can’t hang once in a while.”
Her only answer is a nod.
I leave her apartment with so much regret and self-hatred it starts to suffocate me. I’ve been an athlete all my life, but no loss will ever compare to walking away from Grace.
Chapter 26
Grace
Once I got over the initial shock of everything, I became angry. Then fury turned into sadness, humiliation, rejection, devastation, and every other emotion one person could carry around at once.
The instant Nick walked out, my knees buckled and all my strength gave way. I crumbled to the floor and cried until I was sick. Then I crawled back in bed for the next twenty-four hours, not caring that Logan would be left alone at the gallery. I dissected every word, every look, and every movement from Nick, trying to make sense of it.
Logically, it was too coincidental he decided to end our relationship hours after speaking to Logan. But any way I tried to justify it, I kept thinking back to his attitude and actions the week before. He had started acting different way before he found out. Maybe it was just awful timing as he had put it.
Was it?
Regardless, the fact still remained that he wanted space, and I was going to give it to him, even if he was sending me mixed signals throughout the entire conversation.
“I have feelings for you, Grace. That’s not a lie. You’ll always be my Sweet Peach. Like I said, let’s step back and give it time.”