The world-class bitch of the year award goes to me.
How could I be so fucking stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid… I bang my head against my kitchen table over and over.
“Are you still there? Have you banged some sense into your senseless, heartless, good-for-nothing head yet?” Reese screeches through the phone line.
“It was harmless! I promise! Whatever he thought he saw, it was nothing. Absolutely nothing! It was lunch.”
“Presley, you’ve fucked up. I pleaded with him to talk to you, just to look at you. I knew he’d melt on the spot. But, no, you have to fuck it all the fucking way up by walking up with Russell on your arm and letting him kiss your cheek. And you were laughing! Really, Pres? What the hell has Russell ‘the dud’ ever said that’s amusing? NOTHING!”
“Reese! Stop! I feel bad enough. It was innocent and harmless. Russell was trying to cheer me up with a corny and tasteless joke. It was horrible. That’s why I was laughing.”
“Great timing.” Venom spews from her voice, and I finally shatter.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? You are my best friend, my sister in life, the one supposed to be holding my hand through this break-up. Instead, you have the gall to call and give me grief for the only smile I’ve cracked in weeks? How dare you!”
I hang up and throw my phone across the sofa, stewing. This is a normal occurrence with us lately.
She calls… I cry… she listens… I beg for advice… then I drive to Finn’s house with some sort of peace offering and a sliver of hope he’ll see me. None of it has worked out.
The sound of a key in my lock sends a rush of hope through me.
Has Finn come back?
Reese walks in with a scowl on her face that quickly turns to disgust.
“This place stinks!” She proceeds to open the front windows and walks around my apartment, looking like a runway model with her cashmere sweater, trouser pants, and gorgeous four-inch salmon heels, while I burrow into my sofa in two-day old yoga sweats. I get a whiff of myself and gag, but don’t let her see my embarrassment.
“If it stinks, then leave.”
“Nope, I’m taking over.” She storms to my kitchen and comes back with a look of panic on her face. “You have nothing. No wine, no food, no tequila, nothing!”
“Haven’t exactly been to the store unless I bought food to make for Finn.” My voice cracks at my new reality.
“Oh, honey.” She slips next to me and feathers the hair off my face, forcing me to look at her. “We’ll get through this.”
“You’
re so mad at me.” My lips start to quiver, and I sense the breakdown creeping up.
“I am mad at you, but I’m also your best friend, your sister in life, and the one holding your hand,” she repeats my words from earlier. “And I’m here now.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m going to the store for essentials. While I’m gone, you think you can get a bath or a shower? I’ll clean up and make you dinner when I get back.”
“I miss him so much, Reese. Everything reminds me of him. I was an idiot, but I was scared. Even now, knowing how much I hurt, I’d probably make the same decision. If he’d have died that day, I’d be devastated. But give it a year and he died, I’d die along with him. This was for the best.”
Her face fills with sympathy, and she leans in to kiss my forehead. “I respect that. I really do. Now, I’m done trying to make it work. No more badgering, no more blaming. I’m officially out. You both are incredible people, but sometimes, love isn’t enough. So let’s start the healing process with a girls’ night. I’ll be back in an hour.”
I nod and get off the sofa, taking the blanket with me and throwing it in the washer as I head to my room. She turns on the alarm when she leaves, and I go back to the living room to find my phone.
My finger lingers over Finn’s number for a good two minutes before I get the courage to press send.
“Hello,” he answers sharply.
“Please, don’t hang up.”
“What’s up?”