Surviving (Surrender 2)

“Let’s not talk about it now. Let’s see how things play out.” He holds my hand and rubs circles on my palm with his thumb.

“Is this about the other night?”

“No. Even though the result wasn’t exactly as I pictured it, the other night was perfect. I wasn’t kidding, RJ. I love you. I know you’re in a delicate place right now.”

I lay my head against his shoulder and watch the city as we pass by.

When we get to the airport, Finn hands my bags to the skycap and I get checked in. I turn around to see Finn waiting at the car looking at me sadly. All of the sudden, a sense of dread washes over me. Where are his bags? Why isn’t he checking in?

I walk up to him slowly trying telling myself this isn’t what it seems. He holds open his arms, and I rush into them.

“Finn?” I ask the question without saying the words.

“RJ, I’m staying for a while.”

“Nooo!” I shriek into his chest. “Please don’t do this!”

“Shhh...”

“No! Don’t you shhh me! This is my fault. I’m such a selfish cow!”

“Not at all, Jack offered me a really great opportunity and I chose to take it.”

“Please, Finn, I beg you. Please don’t stay here. I need you. You’re my rock. You make everything better. I know it’s selfish, but I promise it’s the truth. After the last six weeks, you can’t send me away without you. I do love you; I do!!” I’m full out crying on the sidewalk with people staring at me, but I don’t care.

“RJ, listen to me. I know you love me, but not in the same way. And you’re wrong, you don’t need me. You are strong and smart. You know what’s in your heart and in your head. I will always be here for you, day or night. But you need to go home and fight for what you want. This summer was incredible. Not a single day will I ever forget. You told me weeks ago you were broken, and I told you I wanted to help. I think I have. I think together we were able to piece you back together. But I honestly don’t think we can ever have anything solid unless you figure things out with Declan. I realize I’m sending you back to him, but I kind of think that’s where you belong.”

“No, No, No! Please Finn; don’t stay here because I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. You’re a beautiful woman with a heart of gold. I love you, RJ.”

I shake my head against his chest holding onto his shirt tight. I’m not going to let him go. I can’t leave this country without him. I lift up and pull his mouth to mine, trying to tell him how much he means to me. He kisses me back without restraint and holds me close for a few minutes.

“Baby, you have to go. I’ll walk you to security, but that’s as far as they’ll let me.” I can tell by the tone in his voice, his mind is set

I let him guide me to the security gate and give me another kiss goodbye. I don’t trust myself to speak because the tears are still falling down my cheeks. He watches me closely until I am all the way through. He waves and then turns to walk away. I swear I saw a tear on his cheek, but I can’t be sure.

I walk to my terminal in a daze. My mind is racing, and my heart is heavy. If I thought I was broken on my way here, I’m shatter

ed on my way home. How did I lose my fiancée and best friend in less than nine weeks?

Finn

Fuck! It hurts. Goddammit–I’m a fucking Marine. Buck the fuck up! It was all I could do to push her through security. Her tears and pleas almost broke me. I wanted to get on that plane with her so bad. But I wasn’t lying. Jack has offered me a great opportunity if I stay for a while.

I knew it was a long shot, but I tried anyways. Hell, if she called me tomorrow and told me she truly broke things off with Declan and all ties were severed; I would be on the next plane home. But I’m not stupid. Raven’s heart belongs to another man, and until I know she can love me with all of herself, I won’t be in their way. There’s nothing I regret. As I told her, Paris is ours. So why the hell am I crying?

Shaking away the thoughts of her devastated face, I pull out my phone and make the one call I never wanted to make.

Chapter 7

Coming Home

Raven

I’m sure it’s the same flight attendants from eight weeks ago when I fled to Paris on this return trip. Then I cried for the loss of Declan, this time I cry for the loss of Finn. They give me warm looks, probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me again, but I don’t care. When I left Finn in the airport, a piece of me broke.

My friend, my protector, my confidant sent me home to repair my broken relationship while he stays behind. I wanted to tell him I love him in a new way, but I couldn’t. Fucking Declan Collins!