Surviving (Surrender 2)

“Well, my thoughts are pretty confused right now. I’m still in disbelief I’m here with you in Atlanta and not on a plane home to Nashville. I’m also trying to figure out where to start our conversation.”

“Rave, I feel the strain. I don’t want any strain. I want us to enjoy this night together. I have so much to tell you and I need you to listen to me.”

“I have some things to tell you, too.”

“Let’s start with dinner.”

I’m not even sure what time it is, but I know it has been at least ten hours since I have eaten. My stomach growls right then. “That sounds good, but I need a quick shower. I’m gross.”

I open the suitcase he packed and noticed he brought clothes I left at his house. He brought his favorite things, including the black nightie with lace I wore our last night together. I look at him and he smiles.

I walk to the bathroom, and he calls after me. “Need any help?”

“Maybe later, I think I need a few minutes alone.” I shut the door and notice he’s lost his smile.

Declan

Not quite the homecoming I was hoping for, but I’ll take it. I knew she would be surprised to see me but I had hope she would have a little more enthusiasm. As soon as I saw her, I felt whole again. The black void in my heart started to fill in. Just the sight of her made my heart race and my palms sweat.

My persistence finally paid off last week when I caught Jenna in a good mood. I made weekly calls to her to check on Raven since our communication was so scarce, and when I told her my plan, she was hesitant at first but finally agreed. She may not like to admit it, but I learned Jenna was a romantic at heart. James took some convincing, but he finally agreed. I think he was trying to ignore the fact that two men were vying for the affection of his daughter.

I’m not stupid; I can tell Raven needs to share things with me about her trip with Finn and their time together. But I’ve already decided nothing matters. As long as she takes me back, I will forgive and forget anything. I pushed her away, and she left confused and hurt. I’m the one who did this so if it takes a little humility on my part, I’m okay with that.

The shower turns off, and I finish dressing. I want to knock and go in to shave but I’ll give her space. Tonight is about showing her I can respect any boundaries she has put up. If I wasn’t such a blind asshole, our reunion would be taking place in the massive king size bed, but I won’t push her tonight.

The door opens, and Raven walks out looking astonishing. I pat myself on the back for remembering the blue sundress. It shows all her curves and exposes a lot of skin. Her dark hair falls longer down her back, and I have to adjust myself in my pants.

When she looks at me, he eyes grow and I know she likes what she sees.

“Dec, you look different. Besides the beard, what’s changed?”

I square my shoulders with pride. “Well, after Ryan talked me away from the bottle a night habit I started, he replaced it with exercise. For the last four weeks, he’s kicked my ass into shape with every exercise we could get into.”

Her eyes glaze over with tears, and she looks away. I reach out to her, but she holds out her arm to stop me. “I’m so sorry, the guilt is unbearable. I thought I was doing the right thing, and I was so hurt I didn’t think about how my leaving would affect you.”

I ignore her arm and pull her into me. Her familiar fragrance hits me right away. I hold her until I think she’s calmed down and then lift her chin up to look at her face.

“Tonight is about us Raven. I need to tell you some things. And I know you need to talk to me too.”

Her face looks surprised then she understands, “You know, don’t you?”

“Yeah, babe, I know. I’ve known for about six weeks now.”

She pulls back and picks up her purse. I close my hand around hers and lead us out the door.

The elevator ride was silent, but she held onto my hand tightly. I made reservations in one of the hotel restaurants and asked for a private table. We were led to a little corner where no one could hear us.

I order a bottle of wine and the waiter told us the nightly specials. After looking at our menus for a few minutes, we order our meals. I lay my hand on top of hers and raise my glass in a toast.

“To the most beautiful girl in my world coming home. I missed you more than words can say”

She grins and clinks her glass to mine.

“I guess I need to start. I need to apologize again. In order to tell you the whole story, I need to go back to Bonnaroo. Is that okay?”

She nods her head and moves closer.

“Once again, I should have talked to you first but I made a decision before the festival about us. I decided to say ‘fuck it’ to the marketing team’s advice and not deny our relationship. I told the guys I wasn’t going to put you or me through that, and the best I could do was to evade any personal questions until I felt comfortable. This was two-fold. I needed to talk to you and see if you would come with me this summer and let our relationship speak for itself, and then I needed to get protection.” I take a drink and watch her expression change from indifferent to sad.