“She needed you tonight, and from where I sit, you needed her as well. Only been around you two a few times, but she’s good for you. Sending her home with Thad and Chloe seems harsh.”
“It was for the best. If she’d have come back here, I’m not sure what would have happened. I couldn’t trust myself to not say something we’d regret.”
“You mean, you’d regret. I’m pretty sure, after watching her today, she’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”
“Well, she did.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Honestly? I don’t know.”
I rub my fists over my eyes and try to think of an answer. The thought of not having Ember in my life physically hurts. But can I forgive her secrets and lies?
Chapter 44
Regret
Ember
My life has turned into a tragedy. There’s no one to blame but myself. It has been one week since the Dade incident, and nothing has gone back to normal. My family is talking to me, but not really talking to me. My actions caused devastation to everyone who loves me. Not one
person seems to understand the position I was in. Or, at least, I thought I was in.
Dad and Chloe both cried as I explained everything the night Robbie sent me home with them. Cruz and Alex sat to the side, listening angrily. When I confessed to how I got the money, Cruz walked out and never returned.
Chloe was disappointed in me, but my dad was mad. He was angry with me, but he was furious with my sister. She recovered from her little overdose, just to be met with the wrath of Thad Walker. She tried to backpedal and cover her ass, but he didn’t want to hear it. He told my mom he was done. She could come up with the money to either keep Natalie in treatment or put her back on the street. Whatever she decided was up to her. He knew he’d been played and his generosity had been taken advantage of.
I wanted to respect Robbie’s request for space, but was only able to stay away for one night. When I got home the next day, it was obvious Robbie hadn’t slept in our bed. He didn’t come home until late that night and barely spoke to me unless I asked him a direct question.
When we went to bed, he rolled to his side and stayed to himself. I begged him to talk to me, yell at me, anything at all, but the silence was killing me. He once again asked for space, so I backed off.
That night, and every night since then, he’s woken up and jumped out of bed, coated in sweat. When I’ve reached for him, he cringed, stepping back. Then he left the room, preferring to sleep on the couch. He hasn’t touched me since the afternoon in the interrogation room, when he held me as I cried.
To say I miss him is an understatement. He’s letting me go right in front of my eyes. I’ve been so wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself, I haven’t fought for us. But tonight we’re going to talk. My regret is smothering me.
The only thing that has remained constant in my life is my work. I’ve been here from opening to close every day except for Sunday.
The silence in the store is miserable, especially since I’m not alone. Chloe is in the back finishing Abbi’s dresses, and Cruz is doing monthly inventory. He hates the job and usually whines about it for hours, begging me to take over. But today, he’s silent, never even sparing me a glance. We are ten feet away from one another, but the distance is immeasurable.
I’ve tried to be patient and understanding, letting everyone be mad, but finally, I snap.
“Are you ever going to talk to me?” I blurt out.
“What do you want to talk about?” His eyes never leave the computer.
“I don’t know, anything.”
“Not really in the mood to chat.”
“Will you at least look at me?”
His eyes slice to me, and I feel every bit of damage I’ve inflicted. He stares long enough for me to get the hint and goes back to his work. This is my fault, and instead of wallowing, I need to find a way to fix it. Having everyone in my life disappointed in me sucks.
The bell rings over the door, and I’m surprised to see James walk through. The instant his arms wrap around my shoulders, my throat clogs with emotion. His embrace is kind and caring, something I haven’t felt in the last week.
“Ember, can we talk?”
“Sure.” I step back and look at him.