“Please tell me what to do.”
“You know what’s funny? Even though the days keep passing by, it almost feels like time stands still. When I allow myself to think, I can still feel the touch of his lips on my forehead the night he told me he was leaving. The emotions in the room still swirl around me, never going away. Logically, I know it’s been days, but mentally, I’m still in his arms. Pathetic, huh?”
There’s a shuffling behind me before Aunt Chloe comes into my line of sight. She bends down and takes my hands in hers. There’s no doubt she overheard me.
“I know exactly how that feels. Tomorrow’s a new day,” she says softly. “I’ve let you down. I’m so sorry.”
I nod and squeeze her hand.
“That fucking boy needs to get back here and get his shit together,” my dad utters.
Cruz climbs on the sofa, squishing Alex and me under his body. In true Cruz fashion, he hugs me so close I lose my breath. “We’ve been assholes. Your decision to put yourself in danger made us furious. I was so consumed with my own feelings, I didn’t see how much you were hurting. Can you forgive us?”
“Yes. But only if you get off of me. I’m starting to sweat.” He rolls off, dramatically hitting the floor.
I giggle at his flailing body, and he smiles back at me. “We’ll get through this.”
We’ll see.
Word must have spread that I was a wreck. Each day, someone stops by the store to ‘say hey’. Abbi’s visit was actually legitimate. She brought in Raven, Charlie, and Ella for their dress fittings. They insisted I go to lunch with them, and Chloe pushed me out the door.
It was a nice gesture, but as soon as we sat down, I realized it was a mistake. Being with them reminded me of Robbie. I only lasted thirty minutes before making up an excuse to go back to the store. Disappointment was written all over Raven’s face, but it was too much for me. After that day, it was only small drop-ins.
Jenna and Evelyn Black came to discuss sketches for Christmas parties. Jenna stayed close to me the whole time.
James popped in because ‘he happened to be in the neighborhood’.
Tripp, Jimi, and Gabe stopped by with the excuse of checking on their tuxes for Jimi’s wedding. It was still months away. If Tripp knew I’d moved out, he didn’t say anything, just looked at me kindly.
No one ever mentioned Robbie, but it was obvious they wanted to.
It has been ten days with no contact from him. Ten days that my heart splinters with every glance at my phone, wishing for a message. Aunt Chloe tries to make me talk about my feelings, but our grief is entirely different.
She lost the man she loved when he died. I lost mine because of my actions. She’d never see CK walking down the street, or run into him at friendly functions. The fear of watching him fall in love with another woman isn’t even an option.
The sound of a car door slamming brings me out of my thoughts, and I watch with dread as my mother comes through the door.
Fucking perfect, I say to myself.
“Ember.” She looks around nervously.
“Serena.”
“Can we talk?”
“About what?”
“Are you okay? You look sick.”
“That’s what you want to talk about, is how I look? In case you didn’t pay attention, my life went to shit. I’m lucky to get out of bed some days.”
She has the decency to look guilty. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Seriously, why are you here? So help me God, if you’re here for more money or about Natalie, walk out now.”
“No, I’m here to give you this.” She tries to hand me an envelope, but I throw my hand in her face.
“Last time someone gave me an envelope, it led to really bad things. Keep it for yourself.”