“Relax,” Equs says, leaning over to press a kiss to my cheek. His mount moves closer to mine. My mount, Gossamer, takes offense to this unexpected contact and lets out a mareish squeal, stamping her foreleg.
“I am relaxed,” I tell him.
It’s a lie because I’ve never been this stressed. I’m wearing what can only be described as a wedding gown. It is a bright red gown which, when standing, drapes many yards past my feet. While on horseback, the hem trails the ground, and the skirt covers the entire rear of Gossamer’s hindquarters. I said it made me look like a centaur complete with a horsetail, but nobody listened to me.
“You look beautiful,” he says.
* * *
Equs
She looks more than beautiful. She looks regal and stunning, and entirely deserving of the role of my queen. I know she is nervous. Her caramel skin is flushed both pale and red, and there is uncommon moisture on her palm when I reach for her hand.
“You are to be my bride,” I tell her. “My most perfect bride. There is no female in the universe who would suit me better than you. I love you with everything I am, and I assure you I always will.”
“Thank you,” she says. “I hope I don’t suck as a wife. I hope you don’t regret this. Relationships that start in a round pen hardly ever work out.”
“I have never regretted anything to do with you. Not for a single moment. Now. Let us show these people what a royal wedding looks like.”
* * *
Blaire
Encouraged by his comments, and by the fanfare of all manner of instruments, we ride together down a very long wedding aisle which terminates at the gaping maw of the city, a place I have managed to avoid all this time, and intend on continuing to do so. I’m really not sure why the Eponites are so keen to dive into the depths of the Earth and colonize a crappy old spaceship, but there’s no accounting for taste.
At the mouth of the city, there is a podium, tall enough for an officiant to marry us on foot while we remain astride our horses. A podium would be necessary for the officiant even if we were on foot because we are to be married by none other than the Eponite Queen. It is a gesture of solidarity between the peoples, one that has caused some drama I honestly couldn’t give less of a shit about.
The queen who once wanted to turn me into a crispy treat is waiting for us, wearing her most impressive golden face paint, and regarding us both with a less than warm gaze.
This is a political move, but an important one. Equs’ warriors, the city dwellers, the Eponites, and I, we all have a common ancestor. We must never forget that. The ceremony is short and based on that shared history.
“Do you, brutal conqueror and oppressor of Epona Prime take this human female to be your queen and bride?” She addresses the question to Equs. I find myself holding my breath, just in case my spectacularly handsome and muscular alien groom changes his mind for some reason.
“I do.”
“Thank god,” I whisper under my breath.
She turns her attention to me, her eyes blazing with official fervor. “And do you, human descendant of Karen, agree to be defiled by this king all your days?”
“I do.”
“I pronounce you husband and wife,” she says, losing interest even as she finishes her little speech. “You may engage in whichever deviant sexual practices you prefer.”
The crowd goes absolutely wild, screaming and hurling colored papers and generally tempting the horses to lose their shit. To their great credit, the horses do not. Equs hauls me off Gossamer and onto his mount, kissing me thoroughly and deeply. I return his kiss with equal passion, melting into his massive arms, and surrendering myself to his embrace.
It has been over a year since I arrived on this planet, intent on stealing a stallion for my own breeding program. It has been a long, hard, often painful journey, but in the end, I tamed the greatest stallion of all.
THE END