Courage (Heroes of Big Sky 1)

I’m exhausted and still filthy, despite a long shower at the station.

And I’m irritable.

The apartment I’ve been renting over the past several months is not home. I hate this place. It’s just wall-to-wall boxes from floor to ceiling. Some of it is my stuff, other things are from Monica’s house. I could shove it all into a storage unit, but I haven’t had the time or the energy to deal with it.

I’m hardly here anyway.

I shuffle through several days-worth of mail, then toss it on the table and open the fridge. My stomach has been growling all day.

I have three beers from a six-pack I bought in May, a full container of brown matter that used to be guac, and half a pizza that I don’t even remember buying.

“Shit.”

I slam the door shut just as my phone rings.

“Waters.”

“What are you doing?” Liam Cunningham has been my best friend since childhood. And because he’s married to a princess, he’s rarely in town these days. But they’ve been sticking close since the accident. I think both Liam and his wife Ellie, who is also one of Tash’s closest friends, want to keep an eye on us.

“Staring into the abyss of my empty fridge.”

“Fun times,” he says good-naturedly.

“I hate this place. This apartment. Since I sold my house just before Mon—before she died, and I needed a place to park my ass, I took the first thing that came up. Rentals in this town are few and far between and cost a shit-ton of money. But this apartment isn’t home. Being here depresses me.”

“Where do you want to be?”

Natasha fills my mind, her sweet smile and cozy home. The kids with their giggles.

“Sam?”

“I should be at Tash’s.” I sit in my only chair and rub my eyes. “But I just got in from a seventy-two-hour shift, and I’m fucking exhausted.”

“If you want to be with Tash, go be with her.”

I frown. “You make it sound so easy, man.”

“Why isn’t it? Don’t overthink it. If that’s where you want to be, go. She’ll welcome you there, and you know it.”

“I always accuse her of being the overthinker.”

I scratch my cheek, thinking it over. Then shake my head when I realize what I’m doing.

“Did you need something? Sorry, I just dumped all over you.”

“I was just checking in. Let’s do a beer night later this week. Ellie and I have to go to London for a while. We leave next Monday. I’d like to see you before we go.”

“Consider it done. I’m in. But not here. It’s not fit for company.”

“I’ll text you. Go hang out at Tash’s. And get some rest.”

“Thanks.”

He hangs up, and I only have to think it over for about thirty seconds. He’s right. I don’t want to be here in this depressing mess of a place that is most certainly not my home.

So, I grab a bag, throw some clean clothes into it, and lock the place up behind me before climbing into my truck and driving across town to Tash’s place.

It’s been raining for the past twelve hours. The kind that settles in and lets you know it’s going to stay for a while. We were due. It was a dry, hot summer, and we paid dearly for it with massive wildfires and our fair share of residential blazes, as well.

Montana needs the rain.

I park in front of Tash’s house and leave my bag in the truck, just in case she kicks me out.

Not that I think she will, but I learned a long time ago not to take anything for granted when it comes to women.

Before I can even knock on the door, it swings open, and an excited Kevin grins up at me. “You’re here!”

“I am. You shouldn’t open the door like that.”

“You’re not a stranger,” he points out and opens it wide so I can get inside. “You’re Uncle Sam.”

“True enough. Where are Tash and Kels?”

“In the kitchen, doing women stuff.”

I cock a brow and ruffle his hair. “If your Aunt Tash hears you talk like that, she’ll have your hide. Let’s go find them.”

“What’s a hide?”

“Your skin.”

“Yuck.”

“Now, give that a stir. Just a light one. You don’t want to send red sauce flying all over your stovetop.” Tash and Kelsey are looking down into a pot of sauce on the stove with Kelsey standing on a chair.

It’s kind of adorable. I whip out my phone and snap a photo before they look my way.

“Uncle Sam is here,” Kevin announces. “And he said you’re going to take my skin off.”

Tash turns and raises an eyebrow. “Well, what did you do?”

“Nothing.” Kevin’s grin is sly as he leans on his aunt. “I love you.”

“Uh-huh. I love you, too. Hey there.” She smiles up at me. “You look exhausted.”

“It’s been a long week.”

“Well, you’re just in time for dinner,” she says. “We’re making spaghetti, and that feeds an army, so I hope you’re hungry.”