“I noticed.”
Of course, he did. There isn’t much he doesn’t see.
“Well, even when the air is cool, it’s awesome. And Suzie is a sweetheart.”
“You impressed the kids.”
“Yeah.” I close my eyes and sigh when his thumb digs in at just the right place. “That was a side benefit. Kevin isn’t easy to impress.”
“I don’t know. He seems impressed by me.”
“Of course, he is. You’re a firefighter, Sam. He thinks that’s the coolest thing ever. On Halloween, he suggested that he should go ahead and start a fire so he could put it out, just like you.”
He stops rubbing. “Jesus, what did you say?”
“That he’s not a real fireman and he absolutely cannot do that. But I’ve stopped lighting candles around the house, and I threw out the candle lighter, just in case. Replaced them all with the flameless.”
“Good thinking.”
“Is Kevin going to end up being one of those kids that everyone thinks is a big jerk and gets in trouble all the time?” I can’t even believe I just said that out loud. “Because we all know kids like that, and I do not want him to be that way. He’s usually so sweet, but there have been moments these past few months when he’s just a brat. God, please don’t tell anyone I said that.”
“Kevin’s a good kid,” Sam says quietly. “He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, and you said yourself that he’s been doing better this school year.”
“Yeah, so far so good.”
“I think the adjustment has been rough on everyone,” he continues and switches to my other foot. “They lost their parents, moved in here. New routine, new people. I think, all things considered, they’re doing well.”
“You’re right. They really are. I just worry about them. At least I have a fireman living here, in case he decides to rub two sticks together.”
“No Boy Scouts for that kid,” Sam says with a laugh. “And speaking of living here, I think it’s time I let the apartment go.”
Hope sets up residence in my belly, but before I can ask questions, he keeps talking.
“I only go there to gather more clothes. It’s a waste of money, and someone else could be renting it. Gage, for instance. I’ll have to go through some of the boxes and will probably need another storage unit, but it’s silly to keep it.”
“Okay, I—”
“I heard from the Spokane department,” he continues, clearly on a roll, and I narrow my eyes at him. “They said I could take through the holidays to figure out what I’m doing.”
“So, you’re still considering that job?”
He sighs and pushes his hand through his hair. “It’s the job I’ve worked a long time for, you know? I love Cunningham Falls, and I always will. But there’s only so far up to go here. I would like the change of pace. But there are a lot of reasons to stay here. I’m glad they gave me more time because I just want to enjoy the holidays with you and the kids and then see where things stand.”
Part of me is relieved for the reprieve. That Sam’s not going anywhere right now, and we can forget about the other job and just pretend that things won’t change.
The other part of me wants to demand that he decide immediately. I want to tell him to choose. Choose me. Stay here, with me.
But I can’t. This job could be his dream, and I’ll be damned if I ask anyone to give up their dream for me. That’s too much pressure.
“You’ll do what’s right for you,” is the only thing I can think to say that doesn’t include: Don’t leave me.
Before I do something silly and beg, I scoot over toward him and boost myself up to straddle his lap.
“Hey,” he says with a naughty grin. The one that always makes me a little weak in the knees.
“My inner thighs are on fire,” I inform him with a laugh. “But I don’t care. You look too good sitting here on my couch. So, I’m attacking you.”
“You always look good,” he replies. “And there’s probably something I can do for your inner thighs.”
“Really?” I cock a brow. “What would that be?”
“I can rub them,” he begins as his fingertips drag lazily up and down the backs of my calves. “Kiss them better.”
“That wouldn’t suck.” I kiss his forehead and brush my fingers through his soft hair. “Have I told you how much I like your muscles?”
“My muscles?” He leans his head back on the cushion and watches me with humor-filled eyes.
“Heck, yes. You’ve always had a good body, but then you went and got these muscles for days, and I just can’t resist them.”
“You know, it’s a lot of pressure when a woman says she likes your body.”
“Why is that?”
“Because now I feel the need to keep it. Which means I’ll have to spend more time at the gym and cut back on pizza.”