For the next hour, we pull out the special ornaments, one by one, telling the stories attached to them and then adding each to the tree.
“Where are your special ornaments, Auntie Tash?” Kevin asks.
“Oh, I usually just do generic ones,” she says with a smile. “Different pretty colors, that sort of thing.”
“You don’t have special ones from when you were a little girl?” Kelsey asks.
“Not that I know of,” Tash says, and I make a mental note to pick something up for her. “Now, I got two new ornaments for this year.”
She opens a little box and pulls out two clear bulb ornaments hanging from red ribbons.
One says Mom and one says Dad.
“Why are there white feathers inside?” Kelsey asks.
“Because those are angel wings,” Tash replies. “We’ll always hang these on our tree, every year, and we’ll know that your mom and dad are with us, even if they’re gone.”
She passes them to the kids so they can hang them, and I can’t take my eyes off her.
My God, she’s amazing.
Thoughtful.
Loving.
“Do you always know what to do?” I ask her softly as the kids find a spot for the new ornaments on the mostly full tree.
“No.” She blows out a breath. “I feel like I never know what to do. But I think this was the right thing. Monica always bought special ornaments every year. It seemed fitting to get one for this.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” I kiss the top of her head as the kids turn back to us.
“Are we done now?” Kevin asks.
“Yeah, you guys can watch The Grinch while I finish up,” Natasha replies and gets the twins settled for the holiday special.
“What do you have left?”
She looks at me and then laughs. “We literally just decorated the tree. I have to switch out the dishes in the kitchen for the holiday ones. Put up wreaths and garland. I have pretty snowflakes that I found online to put on the wall in the dining room. Your mom made these cute Santa and Mrs. Claus figurines that I want to put on that shelf, but I need to clear it off first. And that’s just the start.”
“And you’re planning to do it all tonight?”
“Most of it,” she confirms. “I don’t have time the rest of the week, and I want to enjoy it for as long as possible. Because the day after Christmas, all of this is coming down.”
“I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I have some things to talk to you about anyway. We can knock them both out at the same time.”
“Okay, that works for me.” She fastens the lid on the last ornament box, and I lift them to follow her to the garage. “I thought I had a lot of holiday décor. I’m a novice compared to what Monica had. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it all. I guess I’ll go through everything after the holidays, keep what I love and what is sentimental and donate the rest.”
“You don’t have to do anything right now.”
“I know.” She points to where she wants the empty totes and then to the ones she needs me to grab. “But I can’t keep it all. My house isn’t big enough. It’s even smaller now.”
“Are you thinking about moving?”
She sighs. “Not right away. The kids have had enough upheaval, and I can’t really afford much bigger.”
“Let me help with the freaking rent, and you can.” I cock a brow at her. She hasn’t accepted help from me since I moved in, and it pisses me the hell off. “I live here, too, Tash.”
“I can afford the rent.”
“You aren’t working.”
“I have a lot in savings.” She blows out a breath. “What did you want to talk about?”
More upheaval.
“I got a call today from the fire chief in Spokane.”
She pauses slightly in hanging the wreath on the door but then keeps moving.
“Uh-huh?”
“He needs to know sooner than we thought if and when I’m going out that way.”
She frowns but doesn’t look my way. The knot in my stomach gets tighter than ever.
“And what did you say?”
“That I needed a day or two. I wanted to talk to you.”
“Why me?”
I grab her arms and turn her to look at me. “Why do you think? We’re—”
“We’re what?” Her chin comes up, and she stares at me boldly. “What, Sam?”
“Together,” I reply. “You’re my girlfriend, I guess. Shit, I hate labels, and I don’t know what else to call it. But you’re mine, damn it, and if I take that job, it’ll change things.”
“I won’t be yours if you take the job?”
I scowl and want to punch the fuck out of someone just at the mere thought of that.
“No, that’s not what I mean. It’ll change our day-to-day lives. I’ll be here every other week, but that also means I’ll be gone every other week.”