I haven't gotten many chances to speak to her lately, but I heard from the staff the kitten she adopted, Tiger, has found a welcome new home in her bedroom. Nicoletta is working hard to make sure he's not a burden, but even the maids have noticed how attached she is to the furball. She will often sneak little treats from dinner to him, not that the cat is lacking food. She just loves to spoil him.
The rest of Tiger's family has found a home in the barn. They're happily sunbathing on the fields and catching mice. I've checked up on them myself, and I've heard Nicoletta feeds them herself at least twice a day. I'm impressed by how caring she is. It makes me think what she'll be like with her own children.
I grunt to myself, shaking my head to get the thought out. I shouldn't be thinking about that, the thought shouldn't even cross my mind. And yet I can't help imagining Nicoletta with a little girl that looks just like her. Or perhaps a small boy with my features – an heir for the Bernardi throne.
"A penny for your thoughts?" Nicoletta nudges me with her knee beneath the dining table and I fight back a curse. Father shouldn't have sat me down next to her. It's too fucking tempting.
"I'm just thinking about your cats," I half-lie through gritted teeth. "Have you been enjoying their company?"
"Yes," she beams brightly. "Thank you so much for bringing them here, it was the best birthday present I could have hoped for. You're so sweet."
I clear my throat, ignoring her kindness. I shouldn't think too much of it.
Nicoletta's too fucking young for me. Livia was older by five years, but the Carlucci girl... she's a child. She's infatuated with me because I'm the only one in this house besides Father who shows her any kind of attention. Adrian's always preoccupied with Marzia and my other three brothers have lives of their own. The only reason she wants to spend time with me is because I've allowed her to think she matters to me.
"Something wrong?" Nicoletta whispers next.
I shake my head, unable to answer her question. What the fuck am I supposed to tell her, that I'm hung up on her like a love-struck fucking teenager? No, she would think less of me, and I wouldn't openly show my emotions like that, especially not at the dinner table where her fiancé will soon join us.
As if on cue, the doors open and Marzia and Adrian walk in. The captive's cheeks are flushed red and my brother looks serious as he greets his fiancée with a kiss on her hand, before taking the seat on her other side. Jealousy bubbles in the pit of my stomach, threatening to boil over. I'm getting attached to Nicoletta and I don't fucking like it. I don't have time to develop feelings for her right now. I have more important matters to think of – including finding a bride for myself.
I've tried for the past week to think of a suitable partner. But none of the women I know can live up to Nicoletta, not even my ex, Livia.
There's no shortage of pretty, obedient mafia principessas out there, but Nicoletta Carlucci is the only one I can see myself settling down with. With the others, I find problems that mean nothing yet everything. I know I can't marry another woman. I know if Nicoletta does marry Adrian, I won't take a wife, simply because I don't see myself with anyone else but her.
But how can I explain that to my brother? Would he understand my need, my want to be with his betrothed? I'm too scared of his reaction, so I keep it to myself. The moment I say it out loud will make it real... and I'm not ready to admit my feelings to anyone, not even myself.
"Marzia, how was your day?" Nicoletta politely asks the captive. Whether she's figured out the girl is Adrian's property or not remains unspoken. I'm sure she's heard the whispers. It's not like my brother and his little slut are being particularly careful about it, either. "Did you go out to the gardens today?"
Marzia mumbles something incoherent in response. She's still settling into her new role here at the mansion. I'm assuming it's not easy to go from the primped and pampered life she had at her home to being the whipping toy of the man she hates, my brother. But she could at least try and be a bit more polite. Nicoletta might be her only friend in this whole damn house.
Nicoletta quickly realizes the other girl isn't up to chatting, so she shifts her attention back to me. But I can't allow myself to be gentle or kind to the girl, either. She's not meant for me, and I need to do everything in my power to dissuade her from falling from me. This isn't a fairy tale and I'm not Prince fucking Charming. I'm the beast Nicoletta's mother should have warned her about when she was just a little girl.