Even after all the time with Alex, all the ways she thought she had moved past her mother’s influence, the words still stung. It still hurt that her mother had never loved her. That she never would.
“That’s enough,” Christine said, and the ice in her voice was something that Jamie hadn’t heard in months. The old Christine, cold and sharp as a blade. But this time, it was deployed in defense. “Not one more word, Mother.”
Christine took a step forward, and their mother’s chin lifted, her eyes narrowing.
“You’ve been nothing but cruel to Jamie. You never cared about her. And you never cared about me. You just pretended to because it suited your own ends. If anyone is a bitch here, it’s you. I thought I had to follow your example to keep your love, but there was never any love to keep.” She shoved past their mother and toward the car. “I’m done. Go fuck your boy toy and stay the hell out of my life. And Jamie’s.”
Jamie hit the button to unlock the car, and Christine leaned in, opening the trunk to drop her bags in, and then took a seat while their mother was still gaping after her, shutting the door firmly. After one more minute of stunned silence, Jamie followed her example. She turned the key in the ignition, and backed the car out, honestly a little surprised when their mother didn’t try to throw herself over the back to stop them leaving. Maybe she was still too much in shock to move.
“I can’t believe you said that to her,” Jamie said.
“I can’t either,” Christine said, her voice shaking. “I didn’t even think about it. It just all came out at once. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were thinking that you’re tired of the way that she’s treated both of us all our lives,” Jamie said, gently. “And that’s okay, Christine. It’s okay to get mad and it’s okay to tell a woman who never loved us to get lost if you want her to.”
“I did want her to.” Christine was staring down at her hands, curled in her lap. “I was just so tired of how she talks to you. I know that I did it, too, before. But now that I’ve stopped I’ve realized how terrible it was. I don’t know how you ever forgave me for all of the things that I said to you.”
“I forgave you because you realized it was wrong, and you changed. And because you’re my sister.”
She dropped one hand from the wheel and reached over to squeeze Christine’s. “I want us to have a relationship. Mark and Alex fought for years, and now they’re brothers, and they’re happy. I want the same thing for us.”
“Do you think…” Christine paused, voice faltering. “Do you think that Mom will ever change?”
Jamie took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure what to say to her sister. The idea that their mother would ever be a different woman was almost imposs
ible. Maybe when she first met their father she had been kind, but whatever virtues she had were long gone. Jamie wondered if the miscarriages had something to do with how bitter she’d become. How unhappy and cruel. That much pain must change someone. But she couldn’t find enough sympathy to want to work things out with the woman. Not after so many years of emotional abuse. She shook her head. “No. I don’t think she will.”
Christine nodded, and Jamie could tell she was unhappy. She had hoped Jamie would say yes. Jamie couldn’t change their mother, though, and neither could Christine. They had to let it go.
“Where to for lunch?” she asked, changing the subject entirely. “You said Chinese, right?”
“Yes,” Christine said. “Chinese sounds nice.”
There was a little less happiness in her voice than there had been before, but Jamie was confident they could get it back. Whatever else happened, they had each other, and they were going to make the most of that.
***
“She actually told Mom to go fuck herself. Or to go fuck her boy toy. But it’s the same thing,” Jamie said, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice as she recounted the story to Alex.
“She actually said that?” he asked, disbelief heavy in his voice.
“That and a lot more,” Jamie said. “I couldn’t believe it. But she did. For me.”
His arms wrapped around her, drawing her close. “Good for her,” he said, dropping a kiss against her hair. “And good for you, baby. You brought her back.”
“It wasn’t me,” Jamie said. “She had treatment, and she’s still got a therapist. I’m just her sister.”
“Shh.” He pressed a finger over her lips. “You did plenty. And now you’re seeing the results of that. I’m really happy for you, Jamie. Having that relationship will be good. For both of you.”
Jamie laughed as his hand fell away. “When did you get so wise?”
“When I stopped being an ass to my brother,” Alex said, grinning down at her. “My wife taught me that, too.” His phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked like he wasn’t sure whether to reach for it or not, his eyes moving to her face.
“Get it,” Jamie said. “It’s probably something important. I’ll get dinner set out.”
She turned away, taking glasses from the cabinet to put at the table. The sound of Alex swearing, low and furious, made her look back.
He was staring at his phone, eyes narrowed and mouth pressed into a hard line. Jamie set the glasses down and hurried to his side.