Heater bit her lip, knowing exactly
what he wanted to talk about, but dreading actually having to talk. “Sure.” She reached into her large tote bag and pulled out a coloring book and a box of crayons. “Would the restaurant mind if I set this out for Finn to use?”
“No, they’re very accommodating,” he said. “And if they object, that can take it up with me.” His eyes narrowed and his urge to protect Finn made her heart swell again.
Once she handed the coloring book and crayons to Finn she followed Simon, to sit at an empty table across from her son while he happily colored.
“What did you want to talk about?” she asked, knowing full well where this conversation was headed.
“What’s going on between you and my dad?” he asked. “You seemed really agitated in his presence. Did he say something while I was talking to the receptionist?”
She paused. After his wariness seemed to wear off, he had seemed eager to get to know his father after all these years. How could she deny him that chance? Especially since she understood how painful it was to not have a father around. Gary abandoning Finn had smashed her heart into a million pieces. She didn’t want Simon to go through that kind of pain now, but she had to tell him the truth.
“He didn’t seem to have his story straight,” she finally said.
When Simon gave her a questioning look, she took a deep breath before she explained.
“While you were dealing with the receptionist, your father made it sound like he’s been planning to see you for weeks. But when we were at your apartment, he said it was a spur-of-the-moment decision.” The words tasted like ash in her mouth. For some reason it felt cruel to tell Simon the truth, even though it was the right thing to do. “It just didn’t make sense to me.”
“Are you saying that my father lied to you?” Simon frowned. “I know my dad isn’t perfect but that’s a pretty harsh accusation, don’t you think?”
“I’m not trying to be harsh,” she said. “It’s just that your dad’s sudden appearance was such a surprise.”
Simon crossed his arms. “You don’t like him.”
“I don’t know him,” she explained. “Maybe that’s where my unease comes from. You haven’t seen your father in years, but he suddenly shows up out of the blue. Don’t you find that strange?”
“What’s strange is that when you first started at Dover, you seemed to want me to reconnect with my family,” he said. “I remember how you disapproved of me shutting people out of my life. But now that I might be letting my father back in, that’s a problem for you. Why?”
His tone made her bristle. “Simon, your father lied to you.”
He shrugged. “Maybe he remembered things wrong. Or maybe he just has memory problems. He isn’t as young as he used to be, you know.”
“He’s not exactly ancient either,” she said, with a disapproving frown.
“You don’t like him. Just admit it.”
“He was awful to you when you were a kid,” she said. “I remember the way he spoke to you. Mocked your intelligence. It was like he resented the fact that you were probably smarter than him. More accomplished than him. What kind of father is jealous of his own son?”
A twitch in his jaw let her know that he was probably struggling to keep his frustration in check. “See? You admit it. You don’t like him and you’re letting that cloud your judgment of him.”
“I’m not trying to judge him harshly.” She slumped back in her chair, hating that they weren’t on the same page about a topic as important as his father. “All I want is for you to be happy, Simon.”
“If you want me to be happy, why are you trying to turn me against my father?” he asked. “You were the one who wanted me to get to know my parents again. Tell me what’s changed, Heather.”
“I’ve always wanted you to reconnect with your parents, but on your terms,” she said. “I encouraged you to make amends with them, but only when you were ready to do that. Not when your father just happened to show up in town.”
“I get that you’re concerned about me, but what if you’re suspicious of my father because of your experience with Gary?” Simon asked. “What if you think the worst of my dad because of how terrible Gary has been to you and Finn?”
She paused. As much as she hated to admit it, the custody battle with Gary had jaded her. Hardened her in a way she wasn’t sure she liked. For years she had been a relatively open-hearted person. She had given people the benefit of the doubt. Given second chances to Gary even though he kept getting worse and worse. It didn’t seem fair to transfer her hurt and confusion onto Simon’s father now.
“I’m not trying to project my issues onto your dad,” she said slowly. “But there might be some subconscious projection going on, and that isn’t fair to you or your dad.”
Simon reached across the table and took her hand. “This isn’t easy for me, you know.”
Guilt flooded her. She had been so focused on protecting Simon that she hadn’t even checked in with him to see how he was handling this father’s sudden appearance. “I’m so sorry I’ve been selfish. I’ve been leaning on you for emotional support through this whole custody battle, and now that you need me I’ve just made things harder for you.”
He squeezed her hand gently, a slow smile creeping across his face. “Heather, you’re the least selfish person I know. It’s only natural for you to be guarded around my father. All I ask is that you give him a chance.”