This time, they turn to my experience with men or more accurately, my lack of experience.
I’ve always been a loner, more at ease with animals than with people so I’ve never had female friends, much less boyfriends. I only went out on a date once, back in college, and that was forgettable.
While I can’t really count these recent...experiences as dates, in these past week, I’ve been alone with a man more times than I have been my whole life.
Well, unless you count Kyle, who doesn’t really count since he’s my best friend. I’ve known him for years, ever since I started working at the Lab. I know. Having a male best friend is strange. I’ve heard the rumors. Some people think he’s gay. But he’s not. He told me once he’d had some kind of crush on me, but I couldn’t think of him that way. I’d kind of shut him down, and it’s been ok since. Like it never happened. He got over it fast enough and now I just feel so ease with him I’m glad we didn’t wreck things by trying to make our relationship something more. Maybe it’s best we just stay friends like this, since we’re both weirdos.
Strange. I came from being completely single with one unusually male best friend to someone ‘going out’ in the literal sense of the word with three men, three different men.
&nb
sp; I frown. Wait. That doesn’t sound right.
But if you were, in fact, dating them, who would you choose to have a relationship with?
The question comes out of nowhere and I shake my head, not wanting to answer or maybe not knowing how. They’re all just so different. Sebastian is hot but he can also be a jerk. Such a strong personality. Theo is very kind and protective, a little shy and secretive maybe. And Toshi...I pause to glance at him...he’s fun to be with, spontaneous but he also has a darker, more serious side that he tries not to let me see.
I really don’t know. I...
My thoughts come to a screech as I take a wrong step, sliding down a slope.
Shit.
I try to stop sliding with my hands but it’s too slippery, my palm just getting cut by the sharp edges of mossy rocks. Only when I’m close to the bottom, anticipating landing on my face or rolling in the mud, do I stop falling, Toshi catching me.
“I’ve got you.”
Yes, he does, his arm firmly around my chest, the other against the slope. He may be slender but he’s stronger than he looks.
I let out a sigh of relief, though that relief quickly vanishes as I become aware of his arm pressing against my breasts. Turning my head, I find his lips just inches away from mine, his iridescent eyes so intense, I feel like he’s putting me into a trance.
My heart pounds, sending ripples of heat through my cheeks. A lump forms in my throat. It’s hard to breathe suddenly.
He’s got me, alright.
And a part of me wants to surrender to whatever it is those kaleidoscope eyes are promising but somehow, I manage to break out of the spell. I think of pushing him away but remember my injured hand, not wanting to him to see it for fear he might also suspect I’m a freak. Instead, I pull away.
“Are you alright?” Toshi asks, his voice full of concern.
“Yes.” I keep my eyes on the ground, not wanting to fall under the spell of his again. “Thank you.”
“You’re not hurt?”
“No.”
I tuck my injured hand in my pocket, frowning as I notice the dirt on my arm. I try to wipe it off with my other hand.
“You know, there’s a waterfall near here. We could rest there and you could wash your arm.”
I can hear it – the drops of water tumbling down, splashing as they join the others below.
I nod carefully. “Sounds like a plan.” By the time we get there, my hand should be pretty well healed. I just need to keep it out of sight that long.
Toshi offers me his hand but I shake my head.
“I’m fine. It was just one wrong step and my head was going places. I’ll be more careful from now on.”
Thankfully, he doesn’t press the issue, gesturing for me to go on ahead of him.