“Toshi?” she asks.
I waste no time in scrambling off the floor and opening her door.
“Yes?” I ask.
“Come be with me.”
She pats the bed next to her, and I shut and lock the door. I walk over to her and sit beside her, then feel her head fall to my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her and rub it up and down her back, pulling from her purrs that ricochet deep into my abdomen. I can feel her trying to sync herself up with me. Our sounds. Our hearts. Our impulses. I can feel our souls melding into one like they did that night in the small Russian town after getting back from Vlad’s village.
The feeling is so wonderful, and it gives me hope that she will be okay.
“You know how much I care for you,” I say.
“I know,” Clarissa says.
“We all care for you. And we can’t imagine what you’re going through.”
“It hurts so much,” she says breathlessly.
I squeeze her into my side and feel her mold to me. Her hand slides across my chest before her arm hooks around my neck. She freely falls into my lap, and I cradle her body against me. I rock, side to side, desperate to get her sobbing to stop as she buries her face in the crook of my neck.
“We only want what is best for you,” I said, whispering. “No matter what it takes.”
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“For what?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I feel your hurt. Your pain. Your loneliness. I’m sorry.”
I close my eyes and press my cheek to the top of her head.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I’m sorry.”
“Why is this happening?” Clarissa asks. “If we’re the same, why doesn’t my body like him.”
“It’s rare, but every once in a while a Primal will come across another Primal they are physically repelled by. It isn’t because they are disgusting or ugly or anything like that. But the pheromones our bodies emit have a very specific chemical makeup, and some mesh better than others. Some are like locks-and-keys, which are those who can’t keep their hands off one another. Some are compatible because they are similar in pattern. Mirror images. Those are the ones who are best friends. Kindred spirits. Then there are those who are chemically the complete opposite of one another.”
“And those are the ones Primals can’t physically approach,” she said.
“Yes,” I said somberly. “And it seems that whatever Kyle’s been changed into—”
“We’re chemically opposed now.”
I hear her sigh, and it causes me to pull her closer. I know it isn’t what she wants to hear, but I know her deepest desires. She wants answers. Conclusions. So I know me explaining it to her is what’s best for her in the long run. Her hand falls to my heart and a purr rumbles in my chest. Her thumb begins to stroke my shirt, and I can feel the heat of her skin prickling through it.
“Clarissa?”
“What are we?” she asks.
I furrow my brow as she looks up at me.
“Are we lock-and-key? Or mirrors?” she asks.
My eyes fall to her lips and guilt floods my chest. She’s grieving. She’s heartbroken. The last thing on my mind should be kissing her. Caressing her. Especially after Sebastian has claimed her. But our bodies are falling into a stable rhythm, and she’s pulling deep purrs from my gut. I can feel her electricity sparking against my skin.
It’s all too much.
“Why can’t we be both?” I ask.