“You’re going after him, aren’t you.”
It’s not a question, and she’s really not wanting the answer. She only wants me to know that she’s figured it out. I didn’t want to leave Lilly this way. With hurtful things said between us. She’s still my closest friend.
I hear her scuff her booted foot against the mat. “Were you even considering asking me to go? Or are you still so selfishly consumed with your own heartache that this was your goodbye to me.”
Finally, I face her, and I can feel the mercury turn cold at the rejected look on her face. “My heartache?—No. This is not about my personal feelings for Caben, at all. It’s about my duty to what I vowed. About doing the right thing, and that means breaking my honor as a Nactue. I’d never ask you to break yours, Lilly.”
“Bullshit, Kal. It has everything to do with your feelings for him. And it should.” Her amber eyes widen with understanding, seeing right through me. “But you should’ve asked me to go with you.”
My chest pangs with the hollow punch of her words. Before we became Nactue, we did everything together. Made every decision together. She’s known of my clamp since my father pumped my full of mercury, and every other secret since we were kids, and I know all hers. But since then, I’ve made choices alone. Whether they were right or wrong, I haven’t included her, and I didn’t know until now how those choices affected her—us.
She’s telling me that she puts us first, regardless our station, our commitments. And that I should, too. That she’s willing to abandon everything she’s worked for in order to help me.
But she’s already suffered the horrors of the Otherworld. She’s already lost Willa. She’s sacrificed enough. And I can’t chance losing her.
So if this is the only way I can keep her safe and leave on somewhat of good terms with my friend, I’ll take it. She’s giving me at least that much.
“The empress needs one of us here. You’re the only one I fully trust.” It’s not the whole truth as to why I can’t allow her to go, but it’s enough. Her features fall as she acknowledges the certainty in my words, the fact that she can’t abandon Empress Iana. The goddess bond demands that she think first of our empress.
A small voice inside me questions why the bond is allowing me to leave without a fight.
Lifting my hand, palm facing out, I cross my fingers—our secret sign. “I love you, Lills.”
As I turn to leave, she says, “I love you. Be safe,” and I imprint her words on my heart.
? 11 ?
Caben
PATIENCE HAS NEVER BEEN my greatest virtue. Chalk it up to being raised a prince, with servants and flowing coin dinnels at my disposal. But waiting for one’s former lover to arrive, sword drawn and ready to slice your manhood to bits, is not an easy wait for any man.
Instead, I’ve decided to take action. Set things in motion under which I can control. My timeframe, my schedule. And Kaliope will follow that plan.
Foolish princeling, you believe you can control her. Her very being, nature, soul, is mercurial.
Pushing away from my cherry oak desk, I stand and motion Lake over. “Bring writing paper and my favorite pen.” Ignoring the dark goddess’s chides is getting easier now that I have her pegged.
“And what, my dark vileness, would you suggest now?” I taunt her. “Go back to the palace and Kill the Nactue leader?” I scoff. “Hardly.” You’d do well to stop trying to manipulate me, Bale.
Kal dies, and the dark goddess has nothing more to fear from her sisters. No more threat for her future, for her mortal reign being taken away. That’s why she was pushing so hard for Kal’s death from the start. We—her and I—have an understanding now.
Kal is my security measure. My bargaining chip. My assurance that Bale won’t simply kill me the moment she’s made corporeal. Keeping Kal alive, at least until Bale’s moment of rebirth, secures my life.
I might be toying with literal fire here, thinking I can hold Kal over the dark goddess’s head and all will play out in my favor. But what real choice do I have? It would be rash to dispose of something before you truly understand its purpose.
You bleeding fool. You’ll ruin the both of us if you allow her to live. She’s too much of a risk. You can’t control her—
“Enough!” My shout echoes through the small room, making Lake pause before rushing to scoop up the stationary on my desk.
“Stand him up,” I order the two Otherworlder guards near Bax. Helix and Amar are their names, though I can’t tell one from the other. In that way, they kind of remind me of the feather brothers—the twins Kal and I befriended during the Cage fights. Though Orion didn’t survive, I wonder what Kaide has done with himself.
I shrug to myself. No matter. I really don’t know why I thought of them. I shake my head, trying to recall where my mind was just venturing.
Ah. But every day I swap out my guards, never trusting any of them to be with me longer than a day. I believe it’s nearly time to replace these two brutes now.
They lunge for Bax, but he yanks his shackled wrists out of their reach. Annoyed and not wanting my order to go unobeyed, one of them unhooks the chain from his chest and wraps it around Bax’s neck. He jerks it taut, forcing Bax to stand, struggling against its grip.
“For your betrayal, you deserve far worse.” The guard spits in Bax’s face. A slimy string trails from his cracked lips.