“I don’t know what’s wrong. She’s…not herself.” Lilly paces the small loft, then kneels down beside me. “Help me get her back into bed.”
I glare at Lena as she moves closer, and she stops. Stoops down in front of me. “I know what’s wrong. She’s been pinched.”
“What?” Exasperated, Lilly grabs me beneath my arms and forces me to stand. I bring Caben’s shirt with me.
“Please just get dressed, Kal.” She begins to pull up my gown, then pauses halfway as she notices the fingerprints bruising my thighs. “What would happen if they…?”
Lena shrugs. “Who’s to say? Obviously, the world didn’t end. Not yet, anyway. So maybe they just had a little fun before all goes to hell. Or Bale.”
“How can you be so unconcerned? Look at her!”
Lena sighs and walks up to Lilly. Annoyed and feeling like I’m about to crawl out of my skin, I finish yanking the gown over my head a
nd toss it on the bed along with Caben’s shirt.
“I doubt anything happened. Maybe the prince or Kal had a moment of clarity. If they had been together, Kal wouldn’t be so…” Lena glances at me quickly, eyes widening. “Unsatisfied. A pinch is some dark magics. It wipes the mind and will of only one thing—and our prince, apparently, wanted his lover only focused on him. And well…you understand me.”
The cool air hits my bare skin, dousing some of the fiery wisps still coursing my body. My skin still heated, I’m reluctant to put on the stifling uniform Bax brought. But Lilly urges me into it, helping guide my arms into the sleeves.
“How do you know about this?” Lilly asks Lena.
“You think the Otherworld is the only place that practices dark magics?” She laughs; it’s mirthless. A faint memory of me being angry with Lena about something springs to mind. “I’ve been to a lot of countries, hunted a lot of people, and seen a lot of terrible, vile things.” She places a hand on Lilly’s cheek. “Trust me. This could’ve been far worse.”
“Goddess, I know he’s possessed. But I thought…I mean, he was nearly coherent, though close to a drunkard, the last time we spoke. It’s my fault.” Lilly slumps down on the bed. “I put her in this position.”
“No, you didn’t. There’s no time for blame, shame, or self-loathing. I’m sure our girl wasn’t tortured.” She looks at me again with a side grin. “Not really, anyway. Caben, in his own warped way, was trying to help them be together. He must have realized it wouldn’t work and left.”
“I agree,” Bax says, entering the loft. “No one is to blame. We have little time, and a ways to travel.” He keeps his back to me as Lilly assists me into the pants. “Is she decent?”
“Yes.” Lilly stands me up and fastens my leather harness around my chest. It feels foreign and ill-fitting. “Kal? Can you understand me?”
“I’m not a moron,” I retort. Lena snorts, and I send her another glare.
Bax turns to face us and says, “Hold her arms.”
“But—” Lilly cuts short when she sees what Bax is holding.
My gut twists at the sight, and then both Lena and Lilly are grabbing hold of me. “No!”
The cherry-red tip of the fire poker sears my arm, and I hear Bax’s voice over my scream. “I’m sorry, Kal…”
The blistering heat scorches me from the inside out—but a hazy memory surfaces through the pain. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Caben’s words fill my head as I clutch my forearm, tears blurring my vision. His words…what happened between us…the pain—I’m not sure which hurts the most. But everything comes rushing back with alarming clarity.
“I’m going to be sick…” I rush toward a waste basin in the corner, folding over at the waist, and release the contents of my stomach.
“Lovely,” Lena says.
“This is no time for that shit, Lena,” Lilly reprimands.
“I’m just trying to lighten the mood,” she says. I watch her take Lilly into her arms as I wipe my mouth. Anger seizes me, and I’m here…back. Recalling everything.
My roiling stomach becomes less intense as my arm flames from the burn. I could heal my scorched skin, but I think I deserve the pain. I cup the wound instead, feeling every tender throb.
I let Caben own me. Though I didn’t actually submit, I allowed him to use his powers as way of giving in—relieving me of the responsibility. A coward’s way. To make the world and problems and the inevitable fade away. Just so I could get lost with him. Forget our fate, and lose myself.
“I didn’t even try to help him,” I whisper. “Not really.” I did try to prolong his sanity, but truly helping him would have been to kill him. Give Bale no choice but to enter me. “Maybe the empress and councilors have it right. Because I failed massively, and now the world will pay for that.”