“Hollywood. Everyone loves a pretty face, and sweetie, you’ve got a pretty face.”
If she calls me sweetie one more time…
“Well, I’ve also got a bit of baggage,” I say, trying to keep the snippiness out of my tone. “Won’t I taint the event with my ‘scarlet woman’ ways?”
I haven’t told Barb or Candice that I didn’t sleep with Shawn, mainly because I don’t think either one will believe me, and it bothers me that they’d be so willing to lie for me, even if it actually is the truth.
“You know what they say, sweetie. Better a scandal than a no-name.”
Not really the answer I’m looking for.
I bend down to rub Dolly’s head, as she’s perched herself as close as possible to my foot, apparently giving up hope that I’ll come and join her in the icy air-conditioning of the bedroom. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but not only have I readjusted to the sweaty southern heat of my childhood, I think I’m actually enjoying it.
“Jenny?”
“Yeah, I’m here,” I say, straightening. “What happens if I don’t go?”
“A mistake,” she says.
I tuck the phone between my ear and my shoulder and pile my hair into a ponytail. “I just don’t think—”
“Look, I’m going to be frank with you, sweetie. The whole running-away thing was working great for a while. It amplified the mystery about you, even as it helped cool some of the nastiness of the Bates accusations. But the tide is starting to turn.”
“Meaning?” I say, tensing a bit.
“Meaning that if you don’t get your adorable ass to that movie premiere in a couple of weeks, people are going to start to forget you. In this day and age, it’s not enough to be talented. You’ve got to be present. People need to see your name and your face constantly.”
“Even if it’s bad press?” I ask, hating that my voice is small.
She lets out a hard laugh, though it’s not a mean one. “Even if it’s bad. Hell, sweetie, you couldn’t stay the good girl forever. People were gonna get tired of it. You have an edge now. Mystery. Less girl, more woman. Less angel, more vixen.”
What if I’m not ready for any of that?
What if I don’t want it?
“Let me think about it, ‘kay?” I ask. I notice Dolly waiting patiently by the door for her nightly potty break, and I open the door a crack to let her scamper outside.
There’s a moment of silence, and I practically feel Barb’s disapproval. Or maybe not disapproval so much as mild freaking out that one of her big-name clients isn’t coming to heel.
I usually do. But that’s the thing. I just…I need a minute to think. To wrap my head around the idea of stepping in front of a hundred cameras knowing that the world no longer sees me as the innocent princess. Now I’m a tainted homewrecker.
I shouldn’t care.
But I still do. Even as I hate that I do.
“I’ll call you this week with an answer,” I tell Barb.
“Sweetie—”
“I promise. Just hold them off a few days longer, please.”
“Sure. Okay,” she relents. “And the music’s good, yeah? Radio-friendly?”
I swallow, hating that the sum of my passion can be whittled down to whether or not a DJ might deem it catchy. “Yup!”
“Good. Talk to you soon, sweetie.”
I say goodbye to Barb and take a long deep breath, trying to sort myself out. It’d be simpler if I just didn’t want to go to the movie premiere. I’d say no, stick to my guns, and that’d be the end of it.