I don’t know.
This is all so new to me. I’ve only ever been with one other guy. My Jim. He was my first and I would’ve thought he’d be my only.
The thing is I wanted to sleep with Rys. I never lost control, even when the overwhelming pleasure had me wondering if I should put a stop to it. I wasn’t supposed to enjoy it as much as I did.
As much as it seemed like it was inevitable, it was also supposed to be a means to an end—or that’s what I told myself when I was in the oubliette, conning him into touching me.
And now I’m sitting in his lap, knowing that my sex life is spreading like wildfire throughout the prison, still wearing Jim’s promise ring on my finger, and I actually have the nerve to be jealous about Rys's previous lovers.
I’m fucking awful.
“Never mind.” I climb out of his lap because, honestly, this is the last place I should be right now. “Forget I asked.”
He lets me go which is almost a gut punch in and of itself. In the oubliette, he was desperate to keep me close. Just now, he said he needed to hold me. So what changed?
I don’t know. I—
Rys’s voice cuts into the whirl of my confusion.
“I stole a touch.”
Even though I know I’m stuck in the cell with him and it’s not like I can go anywhere else, I’m halfway to the bars when his comment stops me.
I don’t turn back around. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve never been gifted one before. I stole one. Does that count?”
That has me swiveling on my heel. Rys is standing directly behind me. I’m not expecting him to be so close and I jump. As I land, he steadies me with his hands on my arms, a half-smile tugging on his scar.
Lord help me, is he sexy.
“Does it count, Leannán?”
I shake my head. “I… don’t think so.”
His grin widens. “Then there you have it.” His right hand slides down my leather sleeve before gripping my hand loosely with his fingers. With a gentle tug, he pulls me with him, leading me toward the cot.
I jerk my hand out of his. “No. I know what you’re thinking about right now. We can’t do that again.”
His eyebrows rise. “Why not?”
Good question.
I know I’m the world’s biggest hypocrite since I’m the one who instigated everything that happened between us, but now that it actually meant something to me, I can’t do it again.
It’s one thing to use my body as a tool. It’s something totally different when there are feelings involved.
And… I definitely feel something for Rys.
Now that his hands are off of me, I immediately reach for the ring finger on my left hand. It’s a nervous tic and I don’t even realize I’m doing it until Rys’s gaze follows the action, but suddenly I’m twisting my promise ring.
Oops.
“Is he stopping you?”
My heart skips a beat. “Huh?”
“I’ve wondered about that band since I first met you, Leannán. In Faerie, we have other ways to claim our mates, but I know you’re human. It means you have a male already, doesn’t it?”