Gillian nodded, miserable to her core. She wasn’t young but did he not realize that he might have gotten a child on her tonight? She’d thought she’d known him, but all she knew of him was what he’d chosen to reveal. “It is.”
She was left with no illusions about her place in his life. She huddled at his side, listening as his breathing evened out, and when she realized he was deeply asleep, Gillian crept from his bed, dressed in a hurry and fled to her room without looking back.
She didn’t wait for morning. Gillian was packed and ready to leave long before the sun ever rose.
Chapter 13
Nicolas looped Jessica’s arm through his and led her out of doors. She was subdued today again, so he’d stolen her away for a private word. She’d always been sensitive to his moods, and he feared she must have felt his impatience that the party end. He would tell her his plans today, swear her to secrecy, and then he was going to enlist her help to capture the elusive Gillian Thorpe alone at last. “Are you warm enough?”
She peered at him from under the two scarves he’d wrapped around her neck to ward off the chill of the cold morning. “I am very warm, thank you.”
“Good.”
He led her out into the snow-covered gardens, trampling across the lawns rather than risking their necks on paths that might be slippery with ice. He cast a glance behind him occasionally, checking no one was foolish enough to follow. “Are you well?”
“Yes.”
She did not sound it. She sounded utterly miserable. “Would you tell me if you were not happy?”
Jessica hesitated. “If I thought it would do any good.”
Nicolas stopped and faced his daughter. She meant the world to him, but he wanted Gillian to share his life too. It was important that his daughter understand that loving Gillian, marrying again, didn’t mean he loved her any less. He wanted to expand their family and increase their happiness. “It has been just the two of us rattling about this house for a good long while, hasn’t it?”
Jessica’s gaze turned flinty. “You’re going to marry.”
He grinned, pleased that she’d reached the same conclusion as he had recently. It was time. “I am. How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t like the idea.”
He took his daughter’s hands in his. “I want to marry. I promise that nothing will ever change. You will always be important to me.”
Jessica sobbed. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
He brought Jessica into his arms and held her tightly. “I know. But I must think and act with honor. Your sister has been haranguing me for years on the topic and until now, I felt no inclination to take a wife.”
“Well, if you’re so set on marrying, I demand a fair exchange and I get to keep Gillian as my companion.”
“That’s not possible, sweetheart.” He bent to whisper in her ear, “Gillian cannot remain your companion if I make her your new mother.”
Jessica pushed him back violently. “You want to marry my companion?” she almost shrieked.
He held out his hand to shush her and glanced about them. There was no one around, but Jessica’s voice might travel far on a cold day. “With all my heart.”
Jessica turned away, strode a few steps before returning. Her expression was incredulous. “Rebecca said you were going to dismiss Gillian and you would make me live with her in London. Is any of that true?”
He shook his head firmly, but was unsure what to make of Jessica’s reaction to his decision. Was she happy that he was in love or angry with him for choosing Gillian? Gillian would probably know which it was, but he could hardly have asked her to join them before he actually asked for her hand.
“Your sister sometimes hears only what she wishes to hear. I spoke to her about going to London with you and Gillian, of course.”
“That deceitful cow tried to trick us!” A look of wonder crossed his daughter’s face. “You would marry Gillian and come to London for the season, too, just for me?”
“No. I’ve fallen in love with Gillian, so the right thing to do of course is to ask for her hand in marriage and be wed. I had hoped we might be married in London right after the party guests leave. Discreetly, mind you, so your sisters cannot make a fuss about any rush and all that. What do you say to the idea that we explore the sights and sounds of London together, as a family, before the season truly begins?”
“With Gillian as my mother?” Jessica suddenly drew back, fingers raised to her lips. “Oh, dear.”
“What? Don’t tell me you disapprove of my choice? Were you not just asking to keep Gillian as your companion? Her being your mama will be much better for all of us, I promise.”
Jessica jumped up and down. “Yes, I approve of my new mother!” She hugged him tightly, which reassured him that he would not have problems in the future from that quarter.