“I will hold you to that,” she warned. Relief that he would remain a bachelor made her smile again. “I know being my friend must be difficult for you. You must bite your tongue quite a lot so that you don’t shock me. But you don’t have to do that anymore. You can always confide in me too. I’ve always been full of questions, and I have a lot to learn still. You’ve always been there for me, and I want to do the same.”

His expression grew stricken. “You don’t understand.”

Jessica touched his face. “Not until you share your secrets with me, too?”

To that, he seemed to have no response.

She smiled sadly. “I’m not a little girl anymore, Giddy. I’m not content with the crumbs of your attention. I want it all. I trust you completely. I have since I was a child.”

He nodded slowly, and then shook his head. “I do care about you, Jessica.”

The passion in his kiss wasn’t pretend. But to have more, he’d have to want it, too. “I know.”

He looked away.

She waited but she couldn’t force him to reveal that he might love her. He’d had a long time to become this way. If they were to have any future together, he’d have to admit that he wanted more for his life. She waited a little longer then sighed. “I had better go before anyone comes looking for me.”

Jessica stepped around him and walked away with a heavy heart.

Chapter 13

Gideon pushed his hair from his eyes and settled his hat back on his head, but his heart was pounding so hard against his ribs he was almost breathless. As much as he hated disappointing Jessica, he had no choice. She was never meant for someone like him. The kiss had been a terrible mistake he couldn’t take back.

He followed her outside to the party, knowing there was nothing he could say that would make her understand. They were never meant to be more than neighbors, friends, no matter the astonishing passion that had flared hot between them, catching him completely by surprise. He had overwhelmed her last night, that was all, and she had been swept away by the romance of their midnight rendezvous.

Jessica thankfully did not look back. Her back was stiff as she spoke to her father, then moved on to talk to her friend Miss Hawthorne for a little while. Eventually, she disappeared into the crowd, and he hoped she was enjoying the sunny day and not thinking of him.

He tried not to look for her again. He shouldn’t, but the habits of a lifetime were hard to resist, and when he wanted to find her, to no avail, he grew concerned. He moved through the crowd, restless and uneasy about how they’d parted. She would never understand the terror he felt when he imagined any future with him as a parent.

“Oh, there you are, Whitfield.”

Gideon could groan, but he schooled his features and smiled as Lord James bore down on him. “My lord.”

“Congratulations on your fine win.”

He sighed but kept his real feelings about the matter to himself. “Lord Rafferty gave me an excellent start.”

“Excellent form for a gentleman of your years,” Lord James exclaimed.

Gideon took offense at that. “Rafferty and I are almost the same age.”

Lord James colored as Gideon glared at him. “Any chance you might have a moment for a word?”

Gideon looked about them but hadn’t a clue what Lord James could possibly want. Gideon had been trying to avoid him today. The man’s waistcoat made his eyes water.

Gideon nodded slowly. “I have time now.”

“It is a private matter.”

Stranger and stranger. He gestured toward the side gardens where only a few people lingered. “What can I do for you?”

“I am in need of assistance.”

“With what?”

“Lord Stapleton’s daughter. I want her.”

Gideon nearly staggered at the way he spoke of Jessica. “I beg your pardon?”

Tags: Heather Boyd Saints and Sinners Historical
Source: readsnovelonline.net