Fanny smiled up at Jeremy. He hadn’t even voiced the option of marriage, which was the only way they could be together every day. And it was, of course, the best situation if they were in love with each other, as Father claimed they were. “If you were close to hand, my heart would be easier.”
He frowned. “I shall make enquiries the moment I return to London, but I am afraid the cost of my upkeep might be more than I budgeted for.”
She took his hand in hers. Loving hands. The hands of a friend and a good man. “When we return to London, there will not be a need for you to seek out accommodations.”
His eyes lit up. “You have a place in mind for me?”
“I do. My home.”
The relief in his eyes diminished immediately. “That wouldn’t be wise. You must think of your reputation.”
“My reputation will remain beyond reproach if you were to ask for my hand in marriage.”
He drew back. “I couldn’t do that.”
“I would say yes,” she said, feeling certain of him now. They were negotiating for their future. A bargain she would honor for the rest of her life. She would adjust to being married again and heeding his warnings. He’d always listened to hers.
His once happy face became the quite the opposite, though. “No. Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“Are you mad?” he demanded. “Why would you want to marry me?”
Fanny laughed softly. “There are so many reasons. But I do.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I spent three weeks being courted before my late husband proposed. That’s considerably shorter than the length of our acquaintance. What I need to know about you, you will tell me one day soon, I trust.”
He frowned again. “Will I now?”
“People who love each other tell each other everything.” Fanny nodded. “Oh, yes. This is most certainly a love worth fighting for, sir. I know you feel it, too.”
He was silent for several minutes, considering, imagining she hoped, a different sort of role for himself in her life.
Fanny was handing him the world, her world, and her vast fortune on a platter if they wed, and she respected him all the more for having serious misgivings about taking her on. They would love each other, and they would fight, too. He’d question her and she’d push him to reach for his dreams.
When he was silent too long, she drew closer to him. “Are you really going to claim that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life flirting with me?”
“We don’t have to marry for that,” he offered. “We could keep seeing each other. We’d find a way to meet discreetly somewhere every few weeks.”
“I would rather not sneak around any longer.” While she was disappointed that Jeremy didn’t jump at the chance to marry her, she was glad he wasn’t rushing to accept her suggestion either without proper consideration. But surely he knew her well enough to understand she did nothing halfway. “I’m not asking you to give up your career, and I know, too, I am not the woman you might have imagined marrying, but I assure you, I am constant. My feelings for you will only grow the longer we are together.”
“How would you feel about a long courtship, then?”
She studied him. She enjoyed a good negotiation. “For how long?”
“As long as we’ve known each other,” he suggested. “Six months.”
“No, that is much too long. I only had to wait a month before I married River,” she explained.
“It’s long enough for you to really consider whether you want to marry a pauper. And besides, your family is in mourning.”
“Two months,” she countered, warming to the challenge of convincing him to marry her more quickly.
“Four. That’s long enough for me to learn to ride a horse and not be in danger of falling off. I’ve heard it’s a requirement of being a gentleman about Town to ride every morning. I’d rather not break my neck in Hyde Park. In three months, your family will be out of mourning and the banns can be called.”
“So, we agree to marry in three months.”