Constantine rushed to her. Her skin was clammy. Her body shook. She was ill and he was a damned fool to have left her alone last night. “Darling, tell me how you feel.”
Her face turned to his, and her eyes were puffy, nose red, and her voice shook when she spoke. “Dreadful.”
He brushed damp strands of her hair back from her face. “I can see that. What can I do?”
“Leave me.” She began to cough violently. “I’ll recover in a day or so.”
Meredith collapsed back to the bed and when she moaned, he clutched her hand. “I cannot leave you like this.”
“You must,’ she whispered. “Take the girls as far from me as you can.”
He drew closer but she held out her hand to ward him off. “Stay away. I don’t want to make you suffer.”
He was suffering already. He felt helpless and utterly useless. He’d not felt such panic since his wife had died. He couldn’t leave Meredith behind. He would stay to take care of her. He stood and considered the room. “I’ll add more wood to the fire.”
Meredith pulled the blankets over her head.
When he was done, he hurried back to her side. “Have you eaten today?”
“I’m not hungry.” She coughed again. “Just go.”
He peeled back the blankets to see her face. “I’ll never leave you.”
Her teeth clenched and she pulled the covers tighter about her. “I don’t want you to see me like this. Take the girls to Romsey. I’ll recover in a few days and join you when I’m well. You cannot bring illness into the abbey and I will only get worse as the day wears on in the cold carriage. I’m sure the innkeeper will be glad of the additional coin to look after me. If you can spare it, that is.”
“Of course I can, but I don’t want to leave you in such a state. I would do anything to make you happy and take care of you. You need me.”
“Constantine, be sensible.” Her eyes met his, and the dark emptiness within made his heart ache. “You must go before you, too, become ill. You must think of your daughters. I could not live with the guilt should they lose you, too. What if they became sick? I’m so scared for them.”
When she put it like that, Meredith made perfect sense. The young were very susceptible to infection and illness. But it would break his heart to leave her all alone.
“Go, Constantine.” She pushed at him from beneath the covers. “I can take care of myself for a few days. I’ll sleep and rest and join you as soon as I can. If you miss me too badly, you can always return without your daughters.” She sniffed and held her handkerchief to her nose.
That was an excellent idea. He was not so far from Romsey that he couldn’t travel there in a day and return. “Very well. I will take them to my sister and come back for you tomorrow.”
“Good.” Meredith closed her eyes tightly.
Constantine leaned in to kiss her lips and then thought better of it. He kissed her cheek, her clammy brow, and the backs of her fingers. “You rest. I’ll pay the innkeeper handsomely to wait on you hand and foot. Oh, if only we were still at the Hall. Mrs. Smith would have you well in no time.”
“If only we had never left,” she whispered.
A tear trickled from her eye. Constantine caught it, his heart tumbling over. He’d never, ever expected Meredith to shed a tear. Seeing that she did because he was leaving melted him. He brushed his lips against hers. “I love you.”
When he drew back, bleak, red-rimmed eyes stared at him. “Goodbye, Constantine.”
He smoothed her hair one last time and strode for the door. Although her words had the ring of finality, he shook off the sensation. She was merely miserable with her ailment. He would return tomorrow and if she were not well, he would remain at her side until she was.
His feet might be as heavy as lead weights, but he had a responsibility to his daughters. He would pay the innkeeper well to tend Meredith while he traveled on to Romsey. Once there, he would make amends, meet the upstarts his sister had married, and return for Meredith as quickly as he could. Mercy was always begging for the girls to visit. She likely wouldn’t mind having them to herself for a few days while Meredith recovered.
Decision made, Constantine found the innkeeper, paid for Meredith’s upkeep, and gave strict orders she was to be checked on every half hour until he returned. Mrs. Lamb appeared amused by his fussing, but the money placed in her hands ensured she would not neglect Meredith.
He carried his daughters to the waiting carriage, brought his valet inside, too, for additional support, and gave the order to move off. As the carriage rumbled from the inn yard, he glanced up. Meredith stood at a window, watching their departure. He raised his hand, but if she returned the farewell, he never saw it.
The girls waited a whole five minutes before they understood Meredith was not with them. The first tear he expected. The hours of unrelenting crying threatened his composure. When Romsey finally came into view, he was desperate for reprieve.
An unfamiliar butler greeted him but appeared efficient in ordering the carriage unloaded and his men taken care of. He secured Poppy in his arms and led his daughters up the stairs. Mercy was waiting alone in the entrance hall. “Grayling.”
“Your Grace.”