‘Why the hell didn’t you just leave him the next morning?’ Leon demanded angrily. ‘Why wait about for any more insults?’
Her violet eyes flashed her own anger. ‘Because in spite of everything, the violent way he took me, I was still his wife. I don’t suppose I’m the first bride to be raped by a drunken husband on her wedding night. I thought—I thought things would get better between us.’
‘And instead they got worse.’
‘Yes! Michael was drinking heavily again and I—I couldn’t have stood his taking me so brutally again,’ she shook with emotion.
‘You were a virgin?’ he asked quietly, watching her closely.
‘Yes!’ She bit her lip, drawing blood, but unaware of the pain. ‘And because he was drinking, because of the insinuating things he kept saying to me, I went up to my bedroom quite early in the evening. When Rolf Sears—when that man came to my room I was asleep. I didn’t realise at first, I thought it was Michael, and when I realised it wasn’t and asked for an explanation he said Michael had sent him.’
‘The lousy bastard!’ Leon swore forcibly.
‘I went looking for Michael to confront him with it and I—I found him—found him—He was in bed with another woman. He laughed at me in front of her, told me not to be such a prude, that he’d had what he wanted from me and that I—I bored him in bed.’ She bowed her head. ‘I packed my bags and left straight away. I went to stay with Jenny and I’ve been there ever since. My parents are dead, you see, Jenny’s the only relative I have.’
‘And you didn’t see West again after that?’
Helen looked away again. ‘Yes, I saw him.’
‘When?’ he snapped.
Helen shrugged. ‘A few months later.’
‘Why?’
‘He was my husband!’
‘Like hell he was! He was just a selfish kid who took you in the most demoralising way possible. If I’d known you then I would have stopped you seeing him again.’
‘You just don’t understand, do you, Leon? I said I saw him a few months later. Doesn’t that tell you anything?’ she cried.
He became curiously still. ‘You mean—You mean you were pregnant?’
‘Is that so hard to believe? It’s possible to have a child whether it was made from love or just pure lust. I’d asked Michael for a divorce, he came to the flat to discuss it with me and—well, it was noticeable by then that I was having a child. I hadn’t expected him to actually come and see me. Apparently his mother didn’t approve of the idea of divorce, and after he saw me he said he wouldn’t give me one, that he wanted to bring up his child.’
‘So you went back to him,’ Leon scorned.
‘What else could I do?’ she demanded angrily. ‘There was no way I could have kept the child without Michael’s help, and he refused to give it to me unless I went back to live with him. But that was all I agreed to do. I made him promise there would be nothing—nothing physical between us.’
‘A promise he had no intention of keeping.’
‘But I didn’t realise that,’ she said resentfully. ‘I thought the fact that he knew I was carrying his child would make a difference. It didn’t. I left him again, this time for good. He was killed driving over to get me back. I miscarried the baby,’ she told him dully.
‘Why was none of this ever reported?’
‘Don’t you believe me?’ she challenged.
‘Of course I believe you,’ he said tersely.
‘Then why question my story?’
‘I didn’t question it, Helen,’ Leon sighed wearily. ‘I just wondered why his death got all the publicity and you were left as the villain of the piece.’
‘Michael’s mother again. But, believe me, I was glad of the silence. More publicity was the last thing I needed at the time. I’ve tried to block the whole of that four months out of my life, but it hasn’t worked. When that man came to my bedroom and said Michael had given me to him for the night I could have died of shame. I felt unclean—I still do.’
‘And I could kill the swine,’ Leon snapped grimly. ‘West is lucky he’s already dead. If I ever meet that man Sears that’s what he’s likely to be too. God, how could he do that to you!’
‘It disgusts you, doesn’t it? As I disgust you.’ Her voice trembled. ‘I think I’d like to go home now. Will you take me?’