She fell silent after that, knowing that if she spoke again it would only be to argue with him.
Leon stopped the Porsche outside her block of flats, and turned to look at her in the light given off by the street lamps. ‘I won’t come in. It’s been a long day and I have to be up early in the morning. You will think seriously about my suggestion and not just dismiss it out of hand?’
Helen had forgotten all about it for the moment and his reminder brought back her panic. ‘I—I will think about it,’ she agreed.
His hand moved to touch her cheek gently, his other hand moving quickly to cup the other side of her face as she tried to move away. ‘You already know the decision I want you to come to,’ he murmured, gazing into her eyes. ‘Can I kiss you, Helen?’ he groaned longingly. ’No! No, don’t flinch,’ he crooned at her instant withdrawal. ‘Just one little kiss, my beautiful Helen, that’s all I’m asking for.’
‘No—no one has kissed me since—since—’
‘Forget him, damn you! Think of me, me! Think of the way I want you, the way I need you. Surely one little kiss isn’t a lot to ask compared to what I would really like to do?’
Her eyes were huge in her pale face. ‘It’s just that I—I haven’t—no one has—’
‘One little kiss, Helen,’ Leon pleaded gruffly. ‘Just the touch of my lips on yours, that’s all. It won’t be like the last time I kissed you. I’ll be gentle this time, Helen, I promise.’
‘All right.’ She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, raising her face. ‘All right,’ she repeated agonisingly.
‘Not the best invitation I’ve ever received,’ he said softly. ‘But the one I most want to hear.’
Helen’s eyes flew open as she felt his lips move exploringly on hers, the kiss gentle as he had promised it would be, his lips tasting hers as if they were nectar. She could feel his hands trembling against her throat and a shudder run through his body as he fought for control of his senses.
Finally he moved back, his eyes shining golden in the light from the street lamps. ‘Oh God, I want you!’ His breathing was ragged. ‘Please come to me when I get back? Please!’
She swallowed hard. ‘I—’
‘I’ve never begged before, Helen,’ he groaned. ‘But I would get down on my knees to you right now if I thought it would influence you at all.’
‘No, Leon!’ Her eyes were distressed. ‘Please, don’t—don’t make yourself vulnerable where I’m concerned. I wouldn’t like to hurt you, I don’t like to hurt anyone.’
‘I’m already vulnerable,’ he said almost bitterly. ‘And in the most degrading way there is. I’m tied to you in the most soul-destroying way possible for a man. And at the moment there’s nothing I can do about it. But that kiss was promising, Helen. It’s all I have to get me through the next two weeks.’
‘It may be all you’ll ever have.’
‘I hope not,’ he said raggedly. ‘I sincerely hope not.’
Helen scrambled out of the car and almost ran up to the flat. She was shaking by the
time she got inside. But she hadn’t moved away when he kissed her! She hadn’t responded either, but the revulsion hadn’t been there. She had felt strange, as if a sudden wave of emotion were washing over her, and it wasn’t an unpleasnt feeling.
Jenny came through from the kitchen, a mug of coffee in either hand. ‘I was just making some,’ she explained with a smile. ‘I thought you weren’t going out—Goodness!’ She seemed to notice the paleness of Helen’s face for the first time. ‘Are you feeling all right?’
Helen looked dazedly at her cousin. ‘Leon—Leon just kissed me,’ she breathed softly.
Jenny frowned. ‘Leon did? But I thought he was in America.’
‘He came back to see me. I’m sorry about being nasty to you earlier, Jen, I was very tense.’
‘Forget it,’ Jenny dismissed impatiently. ‘Leon is in England?’
‘Just for today,’ Helen nodded, the hot coffee putting colour back into her cheeks.
‘He came back for a day?’ Jenny shook her head. ‘Is he mad?’
‘I think he must be,’ Helen said shakily. ‘And if he is so am I. I actually let him kiss me, Jen!’ Her eyes shone.
‘You did?’
‘Yes. And I—it was quite pleasant,’ she said wonderingly. ‘I—I quite liked it.’