“Now take my hands,” Laurent instructed aloud, reaching for him.
Paul took a deep breath and did as the vampire asked. When their fingers first touched he felt it again—the strange echoing sensation of his own fingers on Laurent’s skin. It made him want to yank his hands away but Laurent shook his head.
“No, Paul. Close your eyes and relax. Let your body come into alignment with mine and the feeling will fade.”
It was hard because the sensation was so damn weird but he forced himself to do it anyway. Lucia had made him do a guided meditation and relaxation DVD with her one movie night as a surprise. Paul had thought it was absolute crap but he used it now, taking deep, even breaths and concentrating on his heart rate and breathing until he felt himself beginning to calm down.
Good, that’s very good, he heard Laurent whisper through their bond. Now reach out to me with your inner self. Touch the part of me that touches you and we will become one.
Paul had never imagined wanting to be one with anyone before but he was calmer now and somehow Laurent’s suggestion seemed right. He imagined himself flowing forward and gradually, a picture formed in his mind’s eye. Though his eyes were closed he could see it very clearly—the tree that had taken root inside him swayed, its branches moved as though by an invisible wind. And slowly the golden branches entwined with the silver branches of another tree—Laurent’s tree, Paul realized.
As the two trees twined with each other he felt a shiver of pure pleasure go down his spine. It was a feeling of oneness—a completion like nothing he had ever known.
Feels like coming home. Like diving into cold, refreshing water after wandering for days in the heat. Like a pair of strong arms around you—someone hugging you who will never drop you or leave you behind.
It feels like love, Laurent whispered in his head.
If this is love then I’ve never really loved anyone before, Paul admitted. I mean, I thought I loved my stepmother and I know I love my old man even though I can’t stand him half the time.
And Angel…
You want him and respect him but you do not feel for him as you do for me. Laurent seemed confident.
I don’t feel like this for anyone. This is so different, so…
So much deeper. Our souls are connected. Have you never heard the term “soul mate”? This is what it truly means. Paul felt as if he were floating on a warm sea of sensation. Joy flooded him, making it hard to think. Still, he struggled to retain his skepticism. “Look, this is all great,” he said, forcing himself to speak aloud. “But how do we control it? I can’t go through life feeling like I’m wetting my pants every time you take a piss, Laurent.”
Of course not. There was a tendril of amusement from Laurent’s end of the bond.
And you will not have to, mon amour, I promise you. Simply do as I tell you. I want you to picture a radio inside your head.
A radio? Like a car radio?
If you wish. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. The main thing I want you to picture are the knobs. The tuning knob and the volume knob.
Okay, got it. Back when he was a kid, before his mom had left them, his father had driven an old Chrysler Cordoba. The radio was well worn and always set to the classic rock station, which was all his old man listened to.
Paul pictured the Cordoba’s radio. The two round plastic knobs, most of their silver worn off to show the black plastic beneath, and the old-fashioned radio dial with the long red line that pointed straight down at the numbers between them. He could almost smell his dad’s cigarette smoke and hear him humming along with whatever hit from the seventies was currently playing… “Take it easy, take it eeeasy. Don’t let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy…”
Good, very good, Paul. You have quite a vivid imagination, Laurent whispered in his brain. Now look at the tuning dial. Reach out and touch it.
Obediently, Paul imagined doing as he was told. Got it.
Good. Now this is the knob that allows you to focus in on the part where we are connected.
Turn it all the way to the left.
Paul did. Suddenly the humming, buzzing sensation of connection, the feeling of another person inside his head and body that he’d had in some degree ever since the night Laurent had healed him, was completely gone. “What the fuck?” He opened his eyes, startled. “Where did you go? I can’t feel you at all.”
Laurent smiled and opened his eyes as well. “That is because you ‘tuned’ me out. It is startling to be suddenly alone in your own skin again, no?”