“But I don’t like letting you take all the blame! I can’t fucking stand the idea of you being punished for something you couldn’t help!” he protested.
“I could have helped it,” Ellilah said grimly. She was standing in the aisle, ready to go through the door as Roke just sat there in the pilot’s chair watching her go. He wanted to get up and do something—wanted to beg her to stay—but he felt frozen to the spot. She had all the momentum now and he had none.
“Ellilah—” he began.
“I could have stayed at the Priory of Extreme Atonement where I was meant to go in the first place—then I never would have broken my vows so badly. Instead, I chose to go my own way.” She lifted her chin. “Now I have to pay for my choices, that’s all.”
“But—” Roke began again.
“I have to go…while I still can. Thank you again for getting me a piece of the Lattice.” Leaning down, she pressed a sweet, lingering kiss to his lips. Cupping his face in her small hands, she looked into his eyes. “Goodbye, Roke. I’ll never forget you.”
Then, before he could say anything else, she was gone.
Fifty-Two
Elli hurried through the Docking Bay and the rest of the Mother Ship. She noticed, as she went, that there were still Christmas decorations everywhere, though the human holiday was past now. Well, maybe the humans were reluctant to take them down—they did make the huge ship seem festive and cheery.
Luckily, nobody she saw seemed to recognize her. Maybe because she was still wearing the red dress she’d put on for the Grand Parade that morning— Goddess, that seemed an age ago but, it really wasn’t that long—instead of her long white Novice robes.
She took the fastest route she could to the Sacred Grove and then took the lift to the upper level where the senior Priestesses lived. This was going to be the ticklish part—if anyone saw her or if the Ascending Priestess Superior was in her living quarters, things could go sideways very quickly.
Heart in her mouth, Elli approached the door that led to the Priestess Superior’s suite.
Please Goddess, she prayed silently as she rang the chime and waited for someone to answer the door. I know I broke my vows in the worst way possible, but please help me just one last time—please let me be able to get the Healing Lattice to the old Priestess Superior!
The door slid open and Elli was surprised to see no one standing there at all. Where was the priestess who served as a maid? Had the door opened up on its own?
Maybe the Goddess heard my prayer and opened it, Elli thought. Sending up a heartfelt prayer of thanks, she slipped into the Priestess Superior’s suite with a rustle of her long red skirts.
Quietly, she walked down the long hallway which led to the Ascending Priestess Superior’s office on one side and the bedroom where the Descending Priestess Superior lay dying on the other.
When she came to the end of the hallway, she hesitated a moment. Should she slip into the office and take a drink from the Mortem Amore elixir first, or go into the bedroom and give the piece of Healing Lattice to the old Priestess Superior? Her heart was aching from leaving Roke behind and she longed to be rid of her wrong thoughts and desires, but she knew the old lady was in pain.
The Priestess Superior should come first, Elli decided. I can take a sip of the Mortem Amore afterwards.
But just as she put her hand on the doorknob of the old Priestess Superior’s bedroom, she heard a rustling inside and the maid’s voice saying,
“Now then—you should be more comfortable in a bit once the Ascending Priestess Superior comes in with your medicine. Though why she won’t let me give it to you, I don’t know. But I’m sure she won’t be much longer.”
Heart pounding, Elli slipped into the office opposite the bedroom and shut the door as quietly as she could. She pressed her ear to the door, listening to see what would happen next. If the maid decided to come in and clean the office, she would be caught for sure!
I can’t be caught before I do what I came to do, Elli thought. I must heal the old Priestess Superior and take a sip from the Mortem Amore. Then they can do what they like with me, but I must get those two things accomplished.
To her relief, Elli heard the bedroom door open and close and then the sounds of the maid moving back down the hallway, towards the main living area of the suite. Thank the Goddess! Apparently she had a little more time to do what must be done—but only a little, since the Ascending Priestess Superior would be here soon to give the old Priestess Superior her medicine.