Shame (Ruin 3)
“Cheese,” she whispered. “I want extra cheese.”
“My five-year-old self would have played with you on the playground solely based on that pizza preference,” I teased, trying to cheer her up.
“Good to know at least your five-year-old self approves of me,” she said, though at least she was smiling.
“Yeah, I imagine my five-year-old self would kick my ass or at least push me down into the mud for the way I’ve been treating you.”
“Maybe later.” Lisa’s eyes locked on mine.
“Later you’ll kick my ass?”
“Later I’ll push you in the mud.”
“Join me and we’ll talk.”
“Order pizza and I’ll think about it.”
Grinning, I pulled out my cell and whispered, “I think I like taking orders from you.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“Why?” I searched for the closest pizza place, hit call, then glanced up at her pretty blue eyes. “Just think of it as returning the favor.”
“Pizza Palace!” A voice said interrupting our heated exchange. I turned around and started firing off instructions, all the while feeling Lisa’s gaze burn a hole through my body. When the call ended, I turned around to see Lisa staring at the floor. All teasing had dropped from her face. She looked lost. Not the type of lost you see on people when they’re in a new city; the type of lost you see on a little kid when she thinks her parents left her at the store.
She was the type of lost I had felt on the inside when he’d died.
Hopeless.
Withdrawn.
Angry.
“Pizza will be here in a few minutes,” I said casually, though I felt anything but casual… worthless was more like it. I was a fixer, and I was used to making things right. It was in my blood, but I was unable to do anything but sit there and order her pizza while she stared blankly at the wall. “Do you maybe want to watch a movie?”
“You don’t have to stay.” She shrugged, her voice was weak. “You came, you apologized, you bought me food—”
“I’m staying,” I placed my hand on her arm “Besides, I ordered two pizzas. Can you really eat two pizzas all by yourself?”
A small smile formed across her lips. “Right now, I don’t even think I could eat one slice.”
“We’ll go easy.” I moved toward her. “Bite by bite.”
Her head jerked up. “Is there a reason?”
“What?” I asked completely confused.
She sighed. “A reason that every single thing you say to me, when we’re alone, when you’re not pissed or acting like an ass, is dripping with sexual innuendo.”
And… officially called out. Words jumbled in my head — big words, great explanations, excuses mostly, but what came out was, “You’re beautiful.”
Her smile grew.
“And…” I sat down next to her and slowly raised my hand to caress her face. “…it seems, I just can’t help myself. When I want something… I want it. I’m selfish like that. I want to take it. I want it to be mine, nobody else’s. I never did share well as an only child.”
Her eyes flickered with something. Hesitation? Amusement? I wasn’t sure. “Who said you had to share me?”
“Off limits.” She was like a drug; even her eyes drew me in, made me want to kiss her again, made me want to absolutely lose myself in her. “And a student.”