"It was that night?" I cock a brow. "That was the night Ben and Parker met?" I remember the night vividly. We'd made love in my bed and then I'd pushed him to tell Noah about us. He'd refused and in my desperate need to stop hiding my relationship with him, I'd told him that unless he did it, I was going to Alexa to tell her everything. He'd run out of my apartment after that and apparently right into Parker.
"He said he needed a drink and Parker looked like he could use a friend so they went to the bar together." Noah crosses his long legs. "That's when Parker started talking about Elsie."
"I'm sorry, Kayla." Alexa leans forward. "We don't have to talk about her if it's too much."
"It's fine," I say with my eyes closed. It has to be fine. It's my reality. "Parker told me all about her."
"I can't believe he asked her to marry him."
My eyes pop open at Alexa's words. In the big picture of my messed up life, there's very little reason to correct her but my need to hold onto any lingering bit of pride that I have wins out. "Parker told me that there was some confusion about that. Apparently Ben thought Parker wanted to marry Elsie, but it was me he wanted to marry."
Her eyes shoot so quickly to Noah's face that I don't get a chance to see anything within her expression. He nods slowly at her as if to encourage her to share something that she's unwilling to let go of.
"Alexa?" I whisper her name wanting her to turn and look at me again. "Lex, what's wrong?"
"Parker didn't buy that ring for you, Kayla." She pushes a puff of air out between her lips to curb her emotions. "He bought it for Elsie but she turned him down."
Chapter 8
It was inevitable that I'd end up back here. It's the third time today that I've stood on the street in front of his building. I should have gone to the hospital but I don't trust myself to keep it together when I see him. The things I want to say to him aren't meant for others to hear.
"Kayla?" His voice is behind me. It rises above the noise of the pedestrian traffic that is filling the late afternoon air. "Is that you?"
I turn quickly to face him. It's only been a few days since I saw him in Boston but he looks different. He hasn't shaved and the beard that covers his jaw makes him look less polished and put together. He actually looks more like Noah today.
"You look flushed." His hand leaps to my cheek. "Are you feeling okay?"
I nod slowly even though the gesture itself is a lie. I'm not okay. I haven't been okay since Noah told me about all the text messages that Ben had shown him on his phone. Text messages that he'd shared with Parker about me, and about Elsie. They emphasized everything Noah and Alexa had told me.
"You've spoken to Noah, haven't you?" His hand moves to my shoulder. "Do you want to come up to talk?"
I only nod again because I'm fearful that if I open my mouth at this point, the only thing that will escape it is a whimper.
He guides me through the lobby of his building before he jabs his index finger into the elevator call button. He makes small talk with a couple who exit the lift when it pops open. I dart around them wanting to avoid the meaningless chatter.
He reaches to cup my hand in his after he presses the button for his floor. He doesn't say a word to the man who raced to get into the elevator before the doors closed. I'm grateful for the silence. It's helping me sort through my tangled thoughts. I watch the lights on the control panel bounce around as the car starts and stops on three floors before we reach our destination.
"I just need to call the hospital once we're inside." He fumbles with his keys as he holds firmly to my hand. "I'll make it quick."
"Take your time," I offer back as we step over the threshold into his apartment. My chest tightens as I take in the now familiar place. I didn't think I'd ever be back here after hearing him school Parker on the details of their supposed agreement. Now, I'm staring at the desk where he fucked me senseless within moments of my arrival one night. This is the place where I started to fall for him.
"I just need to check on a patient I admitted a couple of hours ago." He kisses my hand before he lets it fall to my side. "She wasn't being cooperative when I left. I want to make certain she's doing better."
Of course he does. It's who he is inside. It's that natural need of his to take care of everyone in the world but himself. "I'll wait in the other room for you."
"This won't take long," he calls over his shoulder as he dashes down the hallway.
I walk through the foyer into the large living room. I settle down on the couch and pull my phone from my purse. I run my thumb over the screen, reading a brief text message Alexa sent me earlier about the final fitting on my bridesmaid dress. With my own life being in freefall mode the past few days, I'd forgotten her wedding. The barrage of short text messages she's been sending me all day reminding me to help her with the ever present details of her to-do list, have jarred me back to the reality of honoring my commitment to help make her special day with Noah as perfect as it can possibly be.
I tap out a response telling her I'll be at the dress shop on time tomorrow after I'm done at work. I scroll through my other messages before noticing one from Parker. I delete it without reading it. I won't open myself up to him again. Parker's promises hold no weight for me.
"I'm sorry I had to do that." Ben's voice calls to me from the edge of the hallway. "Work is never ending for me."
I stare at him as he enters the space. The arms of his dress shirt are rolled unevenly and pushed up above his elbows, showing off the firmness of his forearms. His navy pants are wrinkled and the belt's end hangs loose. At first glance he looks disheveled and careless but I know it's only a reflection of his commitment to his patients. He's worked hard today. The evidence is there in the tightness of his jaw and the wrinkle of his brow. He's concerned and he's anxious and his need to call the hospital so soon after leaving there is proof that being a doctor is more than his job. It's an integral part of him, just as much as being Noah's brother is.
"Sit with me," I whisper as I pat the cushion next to me. "Please, Ben."
He's there in an instant, tossing his phone on the table as he lowers himself next to me. He pulls my hand back into his before he closes his eyes and brings it to his mouth. "Thank you for coming here, Kayla. Thank you."