"Jax?" I reach for him. I need to feel his arms around me.
He lunges towards me
and pulls me into a deep embrace. I cling to his body. He smells of perfume and alcohol. He was out with a woman. I can tell. I know. My body is telling me so.
"Where were you?" I whisper the words quietly not wanting to push him into a dark place before we talk about Mark.
"I texted you. I went out for dinner." His words are slurred. His breath tainted with the heavy aroma of whiskey.
"That was hours ago, Jax." I reach to turn on the bedside lamp but his hand stops mine.
"Don't. The word is brittle and hurried. "I just want to fuck."
Normally, my body would ache at the command. I'd be pulling his jeans off and mounting him in one easy stroke. Tonight it was different. Tonight he was different.
"No." I reach to pull myself across the bed. "I don't want that."
"You never want me anymore," he whispers the words into the darkness but they bite through me just as harshly as they would have in the bright light of day.
"I always want you." I know that my attention to Mark's estate has pushed an unspoken wedge between us.
"Prove it." The challenge comes from a dark place. I can hear it in his tone.
"Stop it, Jax." I push the words back at him wishing that I could see more of his face than the shadowy outline that the sliver of light from the hallway is providing.
"Maybe she'd fuck me if I asked."
My stomach recoils at the words. She. There was a she. He was out with another woman. I leap past him and rush down the hallway. I slam the door shut as I heave into the sink. The putrid taste of my own bile not nearly as disgusting as Jax's vile words.
Chapter 19
"I'm leaving for a few days." I pat him on the ass to wake him but he doesn't budge. "Hey jerk, I'm out of here."
He moans quietly before he turns over.
"I'm leaving." The words are more firm now, their intention unmistakable. "Last night was unacceptable. I'm not staying here."
I turn to leave and I feel his hand on my elbow. "Ivy. No."
I ignore him and continue to walk towards the door. He jumps from the bed, teetering unsteadily on his feet as he jumps in my way.
I cringe when I look at him. His brown hair is a disheveled mess. His brown eyes are sunken in and empty.
"Get out of the way." I'm late for work. I need to leave before I say something that we'll both remember for far too long.
"I'm pretty sure I fucked up last night." He runs his hand across his face. "What did I say?"
"I don't have time for this." The truth was I didn't have the time or the patience to deal with him right now.
"What did I say? What did I do?" he asks the questions so fast that they barrel over one another.
"You need a shower." I can't respond to him. I can't tell him that he brought up the suggestion of fucking someone else. If I do it's going to unleash a surge of emotions that I'm not sure I can tame.
"Tell me." He grabs my arm and I pull it back so harshly that I almost lose my footing.
I stare at him, anger coursing through every cell in my body. "You were out until two and when you did finally drag your drunk ass home you were clear that if I didn't fuck you, you had someone ready, willing and able to spread her legs for her so why don't you take her up on that offer today."
His mouth falls open.