Chapter 16
"He died?" I repeat the question again, certain that I didn't hear the answer correctly the first time. "What do you mean he died?"
Brian, one of the other junior attorneys at our firm, nods his head. "He went to take a nap and one of his granddaughters found him in bed. He was dead."
The words are so harsh and final. I just saw the man yesterday. I was in such a hurry to get him out of my office that I hadn't offered him any reassurance about his case. I didn't even bother to call him last night, after my marathon meeting. I wanted to reach out to him to give him hope. I thought I'd have time to do that today.
"I tried to call you last night to tell you but you must have gone to bed early."
It takes me a minute to register what he's saying. That was him calling. After Jessica had locked herself in the guest room I'd had a few bourbons. I didn't even bother looking at the phone at that point. I didn't give a shit about anything but my relationship, which seemed to be in free fall mode.
"Have you spoken to his granddaughters yet?" Brian's keeping the conversation moving at a forward pace all on his own.
"No," I say in a hushed tone. "I haven't talked to either of them."
"One called me this morning." He pulls out his smart phone. "I sent flowers on your behalf."
I nod. "I need a number. Give me the number of one of them."
He grazes his thumb over the screen of his phone. "I texted it to you. Her name is Pam. She's really broken up."
"Thanks," I throw the word at him. I'm not thankful. I wish that he hadn't come racing into my office the moment I arrived to dump this pile of shit on my lap. How the fuck am I supposed to handle this? I deal with death all the time. A big portion of my business focuses on people selling shares or companies after the death of someone they love. Suddenly, it all seems that much more real.
"Do you need anything?" He's hovering and it's making me completely uncomfortable. I need him to get the fuck out of my office but he's been assigned to be my assistant for the next half a year. If I make partner, I'm shifting his ass to someone else's office first thing.
"Nothing," I grumble as I wave my hand at him. "Go back to your office."
He doesn't take offense at how gruff the words are. "Call me if you need anything."
By his tone, you'd think that I'd suffered a personal loss this morning. I guess in a way I had. My girlfriend has pushed me into a corner. She's made it crystal clear tha
t she's never going to share the secrets that have defined her past.
The ringing of my desk phone jars me back into the reality of the moment. I reach for it.
"Mr. Moore, Mr. Ryan is here."
"Let him in."
I'd called Garrett this morning on my way into the office. I'd walked. Normally I'd take the subway but I was up early and knew that both the exercise and fresh air wouldn't hurt my mood. It was a wasted effort though. After trying to weave my way through a host of tourists on Central Park South, I almost lost it. Bad moods and pedestrian traffic don't mix in my world.
"Sorry I missed your call." He walks through the open door of my office. "Do you want this shut?"
I nod. "Close it and sit down."
"You're chipper," he jokes. "What the fuck is going on with you?"
Confiding in Garrett isn't my first choice. My first choice is my sister, Sandra. When I called her this morning she wasted no time in informing me that both her kids were down with the flu. She was stressed, at her wit's end and completely preoccupied. I couldn't dump anything else into her lap.
"You sounded pissed on the phone," he continues. "Is it Jessica?"
I nod. This is the point where I tell him that I have doubts about the woman I've been begging to marry me for the past six months. I have to swallow my pride if I'm going to get his input. I need to let go and just spill it. "It's her."
"Is it about Governor Lane?" he asks, doing little to cover his know-it-all attitude. "I thought there was something going on there."
I knew this was a bad idea. What the fuck was I expecting when I called Garrett? There's no way in hell I can tell him what's going on with Jessica without him throwing it all back in my face. He's never believed we were a good fit. He knows I love her but he's told me more than once that I can do better than her. He's wrong. "We just had an argument," I try to sound nonchalant. "I overreacted when I called you."
He eyes me up from across the desk. "That's bullshit."