I just reach up to grab the hand that's now resting on my shoulder.
I didn't hear him come in. He may have been here all along but I know it's him.
I turn slowly, look up and whisper his name.
Chapter 33
"I knew it would be you who found me." Asher traces the pad of his thumb over my eyebrow. "I kept telling myself that you'd remember how much I loved this place."
I nod slowly. I haven't been able to say anything other than his name since I turned around. He's sporting a full beard, his hair is longer than it was the last time I saw him and he's happy. He's happier than I've seen him in years.
"I'm sorry I haven't returned any of your text messages or calls." He reaches to hold my hand in his. "I had to get away. I was scared, Bell. I was worried that I'd start using again if I stayed."
"Asher," I repeat his name. "I've been so worried. Everyone is worried."
"I know." He rakes his hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. "I thought I'd come up for a day or two but then it was a week, and then longer and I didn't know how to come back."
"The police are looking for you." I motion towards the checkered sofa. "I need to sit down."
He scoops his hand around my waist, leading me towards the furniture. "They were here. They came to the door but I didn't answer. They just left. That was days ago."
I can't say that I'm shocked that there was no follow up. Asher is a grown man. The police must receive dozens of missing person's reports a day. I'm certain that the majority of the resources are focused on children who are either abducted by a parent or stranger.
"You said you were going to visit your mom." I sit as I try to level my breathing. "You never went there."
"I wanted to be alone." He leans back and skims his hand over the leg of his jeans. "I needed time to process some stuff. My mom wouldn't have helped with that."
It's a weak excuse. There's no way he wasn't aware of the turmoil and pain that he was causing everyone who cared about him, me included. "You just disappeared. I don't understand how you could do that."
I see the pain in his face as soon as the words leave my mouth. I've been mindful of what I say to him since he came back from rehab. I haven't wanted to push him and now I'm realizing that it's given him a cushion that's allowed him to be selfish.
"I'm sorry." His voice cracks slightly. "I was planning on calling Gabriel this weekend."
I want to believe him but given the fact that I accidentally stumbled on his hiding place, I can't do it. "Why didn't you call him last week or the week before that? You know how much he worries about you."
"I couldn't do it." He leans back into the soft cushions of the sofa. "I have to explain why I took off. Gabriel is going to want to know."
Newsflash, Asher. Everyone wants to know.
"Why did you leave?" I ask hoping that he'll give me an explanation.
He shakes his head lightly from side-to-side. "I don't do this grown up thing very well. I suck at being a responsible adult."
I feel a small smile tug at the corner of my lips. "I'm not going to argue with you about that."
"I'll call him now." He stretches his legs out to reach inside the front pocket of his jeans to retrieve his phone. "I need to charge it. It ran out of juice a few days ago. I stopped charging it because…"
He stopped charging it because when you're trying to escape from the realities of life, a phone isn't your ally.
"You can use my phone to call him." I reach towards the coffee table to grab my purse. I pull my smartphone out quickly. It doesn't take me more than a few seconds to bring up Gabriel's contact information. "Call him now. Tell him you're okay."
He scoops my phone into
his palm, presses the phone icon and brings it to his ear.
***
"You're sure you don't want to come back to Manhattan with me?" Asher pushes a sweatshirt into a large duffel bag. "It would help if you'd come see Gabriel with me."