“What do you want to happen?”
I’m confused.
“If you can’t have kids, do you want to do a surrogate or adoption? What do you want to happen?”
“A surrogate?” It doesn’t compute. For him to do in vitro has already blown my mind. The Outfit, the mob period, weren’t into anything they deemed unnatural. I couldn’t imagine he was willing for people to know or that it could get out that he had gone through in vitro for his woman to have a child.
His head tilts. “You would prefer a surrogate over adoption?”
“You would be willing to do either?”
“I’m willing to do anything you want to make your dream come true. Whatever that takes.”
I’m overwhelmed by his words, and what it all means. I bury my face in my hands. He picks me up and puts me in his lap. “Tony...you are the dream I never had come true.”
***
Christy
Over the next week, it isn’t easy to sleep in Tony’s arms and not make love. I try to initiate sex. He kisses me until I’m breathless without letting it go any further. I’m still taken with him everywhere he goes. I want to be mad, but I also find myself antsy if he’s out of my sight too long.
Once my period ends, I’m eager to make love again only for Tony to not initiate sex despite my hints. I don’t understand it. As the days go by, I’m hurt, certain he’s changed his mind. But it’s only at night because during the day he’s still constantly touching me, keeping me close.
After nine long days without him, I can’t keep from reaching for him. He’s hard under my hand. Only for him to turn away and go into the shower.
Fighting back tears, I follow him into the bathroom. “What the hell is going on? Do you not want me anymore?”
He groans, pulling me close. “Christ, how can you think that?”
“How can I not? You haven’t touched me.”
A sigh. “So that when we get to the point in your cycle that you’re most fertile things...” He shrugs. “I’ll be packing more heat.”
I push him away. “This is exactly what I didn’t want. Our lives and making love to become all about getting pregnant.”
“Two weeks of waiting is nothing compared to holding you while you’re crying,” he growls at me.
I’m tied up in knots at what his words do to me. It never crossed my mind Tony had any anxiety over me getting pregnant. Eddie had barely cared at all. When I lost the first baby, he shrugged, said maybe next time. Then he went back to watching a movie, leaving me to go through it alone. Tony had been so certain, as if he didn’t have a doubt it would happen because he wanted it to happen.
Unable to find words, I walk away. Grabbing clothes from the closet, I use the guest bedroom to shower and dress in. When I go downstairs into the kitchen Tony is gone. Paolo is at the table.
“Where’s Tony?”
“Emilio needs him. Serbians are acting up again.”
Over the next three days, Tony is rarely home. He comes in late at night obviously exhausted. Every night he pulls me into his arms, but he’s asleep before I’m fully awake.
On the fourth day, I wake up to find Tony asleep and sigh in relief.
“I’m fine.” His voice is smoky with sleep. He pulls me down to him, for a soft, gentle kiss. “I need to go into the office this morning. I’ll be there for an hour or so. Pack a bag. And by pack, I mean a change of clothes or two, tops.”
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.” He presses a hard kiss to my mouth then gets out of bed.
The surprise is an enormous rambling house on Lake Michigan almost two hours north of the city. There are six bedrooms, seven bathrooms, a pool as well as it being right on the lake. I can’t believe he referred to it as just the lake house.