“Ms. Messina, I do hope you aren’t going to grow lax in your duties simply because you’ve started fucking the boss.” I’m serious.
Her eyes go wide. “Since my boss is a fucking asshole who would demand perfecti
on even if I just gave him my kidney, no, I won’t.” Stomping back to kitchen, she starts cleaning with very loud mutterings
I’m sure I hear ‘asshole’ as she’s scrubbing a pan. Done with breakfast, I’m slightly ahead of schedule. She’s so intent on wiping the counter she doesn’t hear me behind her, doesn’t know until my hands are on each side of her. With a sigh, she stops wiping. “What?”
“Turn around,” I can tell she’s thinking of ignoring me, only she knows not to. “Holly.” It’s a warning, she turns then refuses to look at me. I bend down, capturing her mouth in a kiss which goes quickly from an apology to me wondering how much time I have. Damn it. Pulling away, she blinks as if she’s just awakened. “I’m sure I’d give you a little break if you gave me a kidney. I know it was my fault. I threw your schedule off today. Next time I’ll try not be an asshole about it.”
Chapter Nineteen
When the door closes behind Ethan, I give it a few seconds, then slide down to the floor. I am so damned screwed because I’m in love with that man. I’m even more screwed because I’m almost positive he’s in love with me, too, except he’d rather have every bone in his body crushed before he’d admit it. My head between legs still sore from a vigorous fucking, I’m trying to breathe deeply and not hyperventilate. There is a whole lot of room for me to be wrong where Ethan Bishop and love are concerned. Except I feel it deep down in my bones. Ethan had looked annoyed when I was going to my room, not at all the way I thought he would react. Even his apology this morning along with that toe-curling kiss was unlike the Ethan I’ve grown to know.
Hadn’t I learned once that just because a man fucks you doesn’t mean he loves you? Only, there was so much more with Ethan, from the way he looked at me, to the way he refused to have a sex-only relationship when I was practically on my knees begging him. The man could have manipulated me into sex, sating his desire then kept me working happily. He was so damned good at manipulation, only he hadn’t done it. Then there was the sex, oh yes, one of the times could have been called fucking, but the others, no. They were making love with more than finesse, with actual love.
What pisses me off is a part of me had known I loved him, not the blinding love of complete enrapture, but the love of a woman who knew all the faults and foibles of the man. I’m pretty sure it’s the reason I couldn’t give up on him. I told him, and Amelia, I didn’t see prams with him and I don’t. I can’t picture a real relationship, because Ethan isn’t built for it. Yet, I do want those things, children, marriage, a backyard with a dog running around only no matter how badly I try I can’t see Ethan there among it all.
My throat tightens and my vision blurs. No, pushing off the floor, I shake my head. It doesn’t matter if I’m hurt at the end, the time I’ll have with Ethan will be enough for me. Whether it was only last night, or a few days or a week, it will have to be. Whatever he’s willing to give me, I’ll take. I’ve made this situation, there’s no complaining now.
Refusing to think about tomorrow, I focus on today, and today I need to clean. Changing the sheets, I put on one of the three other pairs of black sheets and I pitch everything into the lone laundry basket before putting in a load to wash.
As I’m vacuuming, the phone rings. It’s Ethan’s ring tone. “Yes, lord and master Bishop.”
“Hmm... I like that, maybe I’ll have you use that title from now on.”
“You can dream. Everyone should have something to strive for, without a goal one becomes complacent.”
He laughs, causing my stomach to flip. “I’m wondering. Has Amelia mentioned a new guy to you? She canceled on me with barely any notice. I know it’s a standing lunch date but still. Her cop-out to my secretary was work. However, I called down to security and she’s out of the office, left maybe ten minutes before she called me.”
“She hasn’t said anything to me. We were together for over an hour yesterday, she didn’t even hint at anything. Maybe it’s a work-lunch thing. We have a standing lunch tomorrow. I’ll ask if something is new and leave it at that.”
“I’d appreciate it. Where Amelia is concerned, I’m usually the last to know anything.”
“Yeah, she said something like that once.”
Moving the phone away from his mouth, I can hear him say thank you. “I have to go. If I’m not going out to lunch I’ll work through it then.”
“You’ll order something to be delivered though, right?”
“My secretary already has. I’ll see you tonight. How about I get out of here at seven and we eat together tonight?”
“I think I can do that.”
“See you later.” Oh, the promise in those words.
I run to the kitchen, most of the food is in the freezer, since he rarely eats in. Per Cora, it’s best to buy then freeze and thaw when needed. Cora was nice enough to leave a list of his favorite meals. I’ve already done lasagna, last night was chicken parmesan. Yes, I found it! Swordfish, it’s a favorite he doesn’t allow himself often. Since I’m going to grill the fish with a lemon juice, olive oil, and basil marinade, I decide to grill the red and yellow peppers I’ll be serving beside mashed peas. Putting the sword fish in a bowl of warm water to defrost, I go back to vacuuming.
I’m turning everything off as Ethan walks through the door.
“Damn, I was hoping to watch you to see how you do it all.”
“No way, trade secrets.”
Ethan catches me, pulling me against him. “I bet I could make you give up those secrets.” He whispers as, holy fuck, he cups me through my jeans.
How I don’t slide down to my knees I have no idea. “I know you could. I’m also starving. You’ll find I’m much more malleable once I’ve eaten.”
With a heavy sigh, he lets me go. “Fine, if food is what you want right now then food it is.”