“Don’t worry,” I say. “I think that’s a guarantee.”
She laughs again, and I kiss her into silence. After a few minutes I pull away, and we breathe together.
“You were so good tonight,” I say. “And I don’t just mean the sex.”
“Thank you. You were amazing too.”
Propping myself up on my elbow, I look down at her. “I never asked, but is this what you want to do?”
“Be an actress?”
“Yeah.”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Even though you’re so good at it?”
“I want to be in entertainment,” she says, “but I don’t think I want to be an actress.”
I can’t help it, I stroke my hand down her side because I love the feel of her skin. “Why not?”
Amber shrugs. “Acting is fun, and it’s fun to be good at it, but it’s so subjective. I want to write or direct or design. Because acting takes talent, but half the time your talent doesn’t matter until after you get the part.”
“What do you mean?”
She looks away. “There’s so much about acting that is about looking good or being ‘right for the part’ before you ever get to talk. I just don’t like the idea of my career relying on me walking into room and someone thinking I’m pretty.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I hadn’t thought about it that way.”
“So I’ll do something else. I haven’t totally decided yet.”
I lean down and press my lips to hers. “Whatever you do, you’re going to be amazing at it.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
She grins up at me. “You know what I know?”
“What?”
“I’m ready for more.”
I shake my head. “More what?”
She sinks below the sheets, and I have a crystal clear picture of what she means, because she’s under the blankets and her mouth is on me. On me. Sweet god in heaven. I wasn’t completely hard again, but I am now.
Having her mouth on me is almost like when I was inside her but different. That same fiery heat and softness, but fiercer without the condom, and when her tongue strokes along me, I let out a groan that is far from attractive.
Up and down and up and down she goes and shit, I could live in this feeling. All the time. Pulses of pleasure radiate outward and I love it.
Amber tries to take as much of me as she can, and holy shit that feels so good. My mind is blank with it, just living in the moment.
I have to come way too soon. “Amber,” I say, “I have to.”
But she doesn’t pull away. There’s a sound in her throat that might be a yes, but I can’t tell. The vibration from that sound hits me, and I lose it. I come, and she doesn’t miss a beat.
Fucking hell. I’m going to die from it. I heard once that the word orgasm came from the French term for ‘little death’ or something like that. Now I know why. I definitely one hundred percent understand that.
Amber resurfaces from the covers, hair flying everywhere and a smug grin on her face. “That was amazing,” I tell her.
“I gathered,” she laughs.
“Your turn.”
She freezes and goes bright red. “You,” she swallows, “you don’t have to do that.”
“Why not?”
Looking away, she shrugs, “It just feels embarrassing, to have you look at me up close like that.”
“And it’s not for me?”
“I don’t know,” Amber says. “You’re a guy. It’s like a normal thing. Every guy wants a blowjob. I hear the conversations. But don’t most guys think vaginas are gross?”
I snort. “Believe me, I do not find vaginas gross. I can tell you that I’ll regularly be having dreams about yours.”
That only makes her turn redder and hit me lightly on the arm. “That’s not funny.”
“No, it’s sexy as fuck.” I roll over her, because I like seeing her look up at me like that, hair messy, lips swollen, and knowing I had something to do with that. “If you really don’t want me to, I won’t. I’d never do something if you said no. But I don’t mind, and I think both of us should get to experience more, try more things.”
Amber looks back and forth between my eyes, like she’s trying to decide if I’m completely serious. I am. “Okay,” she says.
I throw the blankets off us, and lie between her legs. And Amber looks mortified when I gently push her legs apart, even though she said yes. For a second, she covers her face with her hands, and I can see from here that every muscle is tense.
“Amber, breathe,” I tell her, just like she always tells me.
I’ve never seen a vagina up close, and it’s strange and glistening, and I want to taste her. I start slow, just like I did when I was exploring her, because I want to know what makes her feel good.